


Deeper Than Skin

by Nova_Fearnewood



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Basically A Tattoo Fic, Canon divergent season 1, Character Study, Everyone Has At Least One, F/M, Has Plot, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Loss, Melinda May is the Cellist, Mild Language, Multiple Relationships, No Inhumans, Pheels, Secrets, Tattoos, This is a Tattoo AU of season 1, Ward isn't evil, What They Mean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 18:50:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1480255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nova_Fearnewood/pseuds/Nova_Fearnewood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone on board the BUS has a tattoo (or a few) and they all carry different meanings.<br/>Some tattoos are drunken mistakes that have turned into more, some are matching tattoos, and all of the tattoos have stories attached to them that serve as reminders of days long past.<br/>Some tattoos are like links to secrets that have been kept.<br/>It's time to see what stories they will tell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Phil Coulson

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Just a little something that popped into my head this morning and that I had to write out.  
> I don't own Marvel or anything but my own ideas.

 

* * *

**Phil Coulson**

Most people that meet Phil Coulson (and even some that have known him for years) don't know that he has multiple tattoos.

All they see is the suit and their mind jumps to the immediate conclusion that he's a stick in the mud who has never done a rebellious thing in his life because he's so tied up in SHIELD's bureaucracy to have time for those things.

To be honest, Phil Coulson actually has a bit of ink.

All of it has meaning.

Every tattoo carries weight.

On his left bicep there is a tattoo of Captain America's shield. 

Coulson had always been a fan of Captain America, ever since his childhood. The shield symbolized the courage to stand up for what was right, even if it meant you were seemingly alone in the fight.

It was a throwback to his fairly happy childhood when he would go running off into the woods with his friends to imagine that he was the Star Spangled Man With A Plan and that his friends were his Howling Commandoes.

His neighbor and childhood friend was a brown haired girl about his age that always wanted to play with the boys. Her name was Lisa Smith and one day she told Phil that she was tired of having play dates and tea parties with the other little girls in the neighborhood. Phil, being raised as a gentleman, invited her to play with the boys. Phil’s friends scoffed at the idea of letting a girl play their game of make believe, insisting that there weren’t any girl heroes in their games and that Captain America didn’t fight alongside girls. Lisa was heartbroken until Phil grabbed his Captain America guide and flipped to the chapter dedicated to a very special girl that the Captain knew before he even became the Captain; Peggy Carter. From that day onward, Lisa played pretend that she was Peggy Carter. Up until Phil’s “death”, Lieutenant Lisa Ryan (nee Smith) of the United States Navy kept in touch with her childhood friend. He was there at her wedding as her “man of honor” and she even named her first son after him. The shield is a nod to Lisa and her achievements as well as Phil’s love of all things related to Captain America.

A small heart formed from a bass clef and an upside down treble clef is on his left pectoral, the scar from Loki’s spear running beside it.

The heart is for Melinda May, who he was engaged to at one time. She was his cellist who was in Portland for twenty two years since their intimate relationship came to an abrupt end. He never stopped feeling for her, even after she hid herself in China for a year and a half after breaking off their engagement and telling him not to come looking for her. That had hurt him the most, but the fact that she was still willing to go out to have the occasional dinner or drinks at The Richmond and actually speak to him after their falling out was proof that she was still his friend. She even admitted that she still had feelings for him after all of what they had been through together. He knew that Melinda was a changed woman after what they had been through, especially after Bahrain, but even more so after her time in China.

She still won’t tell him everything that happened in China and the most she’s ever told him was that she needed to take a break from SHIELD and go back to her home country to clear her head.

The reasons for ending their engagement were clear and understandable. She wasn’t ready to get married and the thought of committing to someone scared her, especially when she knew that they could be targeted and used as a bargaining piece to force sensitive intel out of her. He understood that and respected her for it.

His third and final tattoo was embarrassing and the story behind it was just as bad.

It was a tramp stamp version of the SHIELD emblem that he got after his graduation from the SHIELD academy.

Two other people had matching tattoos (but they were damn sure never to speak of it) and they were Felix Blake and John Garrett.

Blake and Garrett were Phil’s roommates at the academy back in the late 70’s and early 80’s when they had been rookies there.

All three of them had drank way too much in those days, then again, they were in their early twenties at that time and all of them were under the impression that they were invincible.

After their graduation from the six year academy, all three of them got drunk off their asses and John Garrett (being the one who could hold his alcohol better than any of them) dragged them to Victoria Hand’s dorm.

Victoria, although a no-nonsense boss lady today, had been a second year rookie during their graduation days.

Her former occupation had been as an apprentice for a professional tattoo artist and she had done some work for John before. She was the one who took advantage of the three drunken men and gave them all tramp stamps, hoping that their tattoos would be lessons about just how badly they could be compromised and taken advantage of if they were careless in the field.

It was a harsh lesson, but Phil, Felix, and John had never forgotten about it.

Victoria was gracious enough to never mention the tattoos to anyone, but that didn’t stop her from giving the three of them a knowing look whenever they stopped by the HUB.

His tattoos, like his scars, reflected stories, memories, and lessons.

They made him who he was today and he wouldn’t trade them for the world.

"AC?", asked Skye, standing in the doorway.

Her presence was what brought him back to reality. 

"Yes Skye?", he asked, noticing a confused look on the young agent's face.

"I need to tell you something that may shock you a little...", she replied, closing the door to Phil's office behind her and sitting down.  

    


	2. Melinda May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May has her fair share of ink. Her tattoos tell a story of a love that was meant to be, several life-changing decisions, regret, and hope.

* * *

**Melinda May**

Melinda May has several tattoos that no one will understand unless they can get inside her head and know her completely.

Not even Phil Coulson can do that.

She’s an enigma, better known as “The Cavalry”, a woman who has never cried because she was rumored to have a heart of stone.

She has secrets that are linked to her tattoos and those secrets are ones she has kept for a very long time. They are links to her past, to stories she has never told, to bittersweet memories that she replays in her mind’s eye, and to times when she wishes that she could go back and change the past.

Her first tattoo is on her chest, right above her heart. It is a bass clef and an upside down treble clef forming a small heart. Phil, her ex fiancée, has an identical one on his chest. She got it as a way to seem closer to him when he proposed to her twenty-two years ago.

Shortly after the proposal, Bahrain happened.

Bahrain changed her forever. She realized that she had killed not one _bad_ man but a few dozen people, including a few innocents who were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

She shot an innocent man in the head and then witnessed the dead man’s wife and children, _small children_ , coming forward and weeping over his corpse.

The cries of the wife and children still haunt her to this day.

She almost died that day.

Phil had come to her rescue and saved her life.

She was broken after that, changed, and there wasn’t anything she could do but sift through the ashes with Phil.

“Sifting” also meant finding comfort in each other’s arms and having sex to reaffirm their lives and their mortality, to heal each other’s souls with physical intimacy and to forget the world around them for the time being.

She had no idea until a month after Bahrain that, in the heat of their night together, reaffirming two lives, that a third one came into being.

At first she was excited.

She was going to be a mother.

Then she thought about how this would change their relationship. This unplanned baby would be a threat to her life as well as Phil’s. A baby would ruin her career at SHIELD and force Phil to work extra hard. If she was captured while she was pregnant, her captors would go straight for her unborn child to force her to talk.

That would tear her apart.

It would tear Phil apart.

She had to keep the baby safe and the less people knew about her pregnancy, the better.

She thought about aborting it, but knew that wasn’t an option, she was already so in love with the little life developing and growing inside of her.

So she packed her bags and did the hardest thing she had ever done.

She broke off her engagement with Phil although she still loved him more than life itself, got on a plane, and flew to China.

She contacted an old friend in Beijing who was an experienced women’s doctor/midwife and an agent of SHIELD.

She contacted Fury, told him that she needed time off of the grid and off of the radar due to an unplanned pregnancy that she planned to carry to term, and then told him that when her baby was born, she would willingly place the newborn baby in SHIELD’s custody for its own safety.

Fury agreed to help her, the records of her pregnancy wouldn’t exist in any SHIELD database, Phil wouldn’t know about the baby, and when the time came, the newborn would be handed off to a SHIELD team for safe transport to a good orphanage.

She got a second tattoo when she learned she would be having a girl. A rose blossom on her right calf with a tiny female symbol worked in.

She may not want to keep this baby, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t love her baby all the same.

She also got the Chinese symbol for “Mother” tattooed near the rose as a nod to her own mother… goodness knows that she would never be a good mother.

Hopefully this little baby of hers would grow up in a happy home with a mother that could love and nurture her and keep her safe like she never could.

When the time came for May to give birth she was prepared for the pain, but was not ready for the duration of labor.

Sixteen and a half hours later, Melinda got to hold her daughter for the first time and she cried tears of joy and then tears of sadness and agony when the SHIELD team came to take the baby away.

She spent her final half-year in China getting rid of the postpartum bump and stretch marks before packing up and moving back to Portland.

On her first day back, she got a tiny tattoo on her left wrist, the Chinese symbol for regret along with a dove carrying an olive branch in its beak.

The regret symbolized how she wished she could have stayed with Phil, told him about his daughter, had her baby, kept her baby, got married and lived happily ever after.

The dove with the olive branch in its beak was a nod to the Biblical story of the great flood and Noah’s Ark. The dove was sent out from the Ark when the rain stopped and returned with an olive branch as proof that there was land and hope for survival in the wake of disaster. To Melinda, it was a symbol of her hope and faith that her baby would find a safe home and that there would be a sign of some sort when her baby had found a happy home.

But she was Melinda May.

She was different now.

Happily ever after didn’t exist for her and a sign never appeared to her.

“Come in Simmons.”, she spoke in an even tone, her eyes trained on the sky outside of the cockpit window.

“Agent May… I was wondering if I may have a word… It’s about Skye…”

The bubbly biochemist was met with stony silence and a curt nod.

Ever since that girl had been on board, Melinda couldn’t help but feel a strong sense of responsibility for her. There was just something about her that she couldn’t describe.

When Skye had been shot, Melinda had panicked, worried sick that the young rookie was done for.

“I was going over Skye’s blood samples and the DNA scans when I noticed a pattern in her DNA…”

“Was it similar to Coulson’s DNA? Did the GH-325 change both of them?”, May asked.

“Well, this has nothing to do with the GH-325… but Coulson’s DNA seems to be partially identical to Skye’s… meaning…”

“Meaning what?”, May asked, looking right at the British woman.

“That if my data findings are accurate, Skye is, without a doubt, Agent Coulson’s long lost _daughter_ …”, she said softly.

The news hit Melinda like the fallout from an atomic bomb.

_Skye is only twenty one years old._

Twenty one years ago, she had given birth to a daughter, _Phil Coulson’s daughter!_

Unless Coulson had been sleeping about with other women when they were engaged, then that meant the _Skye_ was **_her_ ** daughter!

“Did you run any scans on her DNA to see who the mother was?”, May asked softly.

Could it be that Skye was _her_ long lost daughter too?

“Yes…”, replied the biochemist.

“And? The results?”

“This may come as quite the shock to you Agent May… you’re the mother…”

Melinda’s heart nearly stopped beating.

_I’m the mother… I’m **Skye’s** mother…_

“Leave the cockpit Simmons. Don’t breathe a word of this to anyone.”, was her clipped remark.

“Agent May, I fear that Skye may have hacked in and seen the results for herself… what should I do? She might tell Agent Coulson…”, Simmons replied.

“Just go. If Skye knows, then she knows. If she tells Coulson, he’ll know too. Either way I’ll have to sort this out.”

The biochemist nodded solemnly and turned to leave.

“Thank you Simmons.”, May murmured.

Simmons did not respond.

The second the door closed and locked behind her was the second that twenty-one years’ worth of harbored emotions took over.

Her vision blurred and she engaged the autopilot.

Then The Cavalry; the woman who never cried, the woman who had a heart of stone; broke down in tears.

The biochemist came to May with the DNA results.

The dove had returned with the olive branch.

Her daughter was home at last.           


	3. Leo Fitz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo Fitz has five tattoos and a long story to tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here is an EXTRA long chapter to make up for the hiatus!  
> I don't own anything.  
> Any errors are my own (since I don't have a Beta reader).

* * *

**Leo Fitz**

The world sees his lab coat and his protective eyewear and immediately pegs him as a man who is married to science.

A man that wasn’t more than a genius engineer because of all the degrees and the multiple PhDs he worked on. A man that was a coward because he couldn’t stand the sight of blood and positively abhorred those times when he had to do fieldwork.

The world is wrong.

There is way more to Leopold Fitz than what meets the eye.

He is a man of many sides, talents, and emotions.

There are things about himself that only a select few people know about.  

Hell, not even his own mother knew about his five tattoos.

Only Simmons knew about them all.

Only she had seen them with her own two eyes.

Why only Simmons?

Because he trusted her explicitly.

How could he not trust her after all they had been through together?

His first tattoo was dedicated to his family.

The Scottish clan emblem for his family was tattooed on his right bicep.

So what if his father had been a mangy bastard who had run off and left him and his mum when he was a toddler?  Robert Fitz had severed his ties with the rest of the Fitz family when he decided to break off his marriage to Lillian Fitz and shirk his fatherly duties.

His family had played a big role in who he grew up to be. His Aunt Lorraine told him at an early age that he didn’t have to be the strongest clan member to be important, that he could make a bigger difference in the world if he was smarter.

And he believed her.

He went to MIT after getting his emblem and leaving Glasgow.

He felt like a fish out of water. He was only sixteen and he had left his comfort zone to be submerged into a completely different environment. His colleagues were older than him by years and either treated him like a child or outright ignored him. It was difficult to try and adapt to life in a new country when you were all alone.   

His second tattoo was for his mum, who gave up on her own ambition of becoming a surgeon and used her savings and what medical studies she had already gained to become a midwife just so the two of them could survive. A small lily was tattooed on the inside of his left forearm for her. 

During year two at MIT, he almost took his own life.

He figured, every good thing out of his life had been stolen and replaced with homesickness and heartache, not to mention grief because Aunt Lorraine had just died, leaving his least favorite uncle and cousin in charge of the clan.

 His uncle and cousin had always disliked the fact that he and Lillian had stuck around and kept the clan name instead of taking Lillian’s maiden name and going back to her family clan (Buchanan). When he had returned to Glasgow for summer holiday, his Uncle Brian and cousin Cody basically told them that they didn’t belong in the clan, that they were better off going back to the Buchanan family.  

Leo returned to the states and that “fish-out-of-water” feeling never faded.

He was still alone, still getting used to America, and he was still much younger than his colleagues.          

He didn’t belong at MIT, he didn’t belong in Glasgow, he didn’t have any friends, and he was too smart for his own good.

 He attempted to end his suffering one night but _she_ had stopped him.

He had snuck into one of the biochemistry laboratories at night, wanting to steal some arsenic and poison himself. He realized that bleach or drain cleaner would have been easier and a bullet would have been faster, but something told him to aim higher than standard bathroom chemicals or something as quick and messy as a bullet to his brain.

He had the bottle of slightly diluted liquid arsenic in his hand and was walking through the darkened lab when a soft British voice broke the silence with a statement; that chemicals can only be removed from the lab with proper authorization.

He had spun around as a desk lamp clicked on, revealing the owner of the otherwise disembodied voice. She was pale, with light brown hair and honey colored eyes. She looked to be about his age, possibly younger.

She had asked him who he was and if he had written authorization to remove the arsenic from the lab.

She had almost called campus security on him when he said he was an engineering student but she put the phone down when he had blurted out that he needed the arsenic for an experiment. She had offered to help him with said experiment, as she had more experience with chemicals, and the eager gleam in her eyes made him wish that he hadn’t lied to her.

After coming up with an idea on the fly and talking with her for an hour, he began to reevaluate his choice to end it all.

 He found out that she had a name.

Her name was Jemma Simmons.

Her name was perfect and he loved the way it rolled off his tongue.

 Like Jemma, he still had a passion in science.

 As long as he has his passion, he had something to live for.  

When she asked what he would need the arsenic for, he didn’t have a reply.

He told Jemma, a complete stranger, about his desire to end his life.

Her excitement died when he said there was no experiment and that he needed the arsenic to poison himself.

She begged him not to, but told him that she wasn’t strong enough to wrestle the arsenic from his hands if he really did want to end his life. She begged him not to kill himself because it would mean that she would lose the only one who had acknowledged her as an actual _person_ since she started at MIT, everyone else treated her as a child or an seventeen-year-old science prodigy freak from the UK on a full ride scholarship.    

He chose to put the arsenic back because of Jemma Simmons.

She saved his life by proving to him that he was not alone.

They had been inseparable since that night. They complimented each other so perfectly, both inside and outside the lab. They could match each other in a battle of wits without fail and even finish each other’s sentences.

They did almost everything together from eating meals and going to bookstores together to watching Doctor Who and doing their laundry in combined loads to save money. Whenever he got sick, Jemma would take care of him and vice versa. It was not uncommon for Jemma to fall asleep after Doctor Who and usually she would nod off and come to rest on his shoulder. Having Jemma trust him enough to fall asleep on him was one of the best feelings in the world and her delicate weight would remind him that he wasn’t just a “nobody”, that he was a “somebody” to Jemma.

So it only seemed fitting that they were both approached by a man in a suit and offered a once in a lifetime opportunity to become a part of something bigger than just a couple of eighteen-year-old science prodigies that were known as the singular entity _FitzSimmons_. They were offered admission to the SHIELD Academy in upstate New York and there they would have the opportunity to expand their knowledge, broaden their research, and have the chance to help people.

Simmons agreed to go at the prospect of helping others and if she went, so would he.

The phrase _“Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost”_ is tattooed on his left shoulder blade.

He was wandering into the lab that night and he thought he was lost when Jemma stopped him and showed him that he wasn’t the only one wandering. She thought she was lost too. She knew all too well about the fish-out-of-water type of feeling that he felt, she had felt it too.    

In a way, they were both wandering through life but he felt that there was hope that they would never be lost, not as long as they had each other.

When they were in the Academy, they lived in separate dorm rooms across the hall from each other in the same building, but they would still go to the campus Laundromat and spend their Saturdays together doing their laundry while they collaborated by their washing machines and discussed science in hushed tones. Jemma would still invite him over to watch Doctor Who, and she would still doze off on his shoulder.  

Everyone on campus swore up and down that they were a couple, both in the lab and in the real world but they would vehemently deny any such accusations, Jemma doing most of the denying while he was lying about only having platonic feelings for her.  

He knew he was falling hard for Simmons when she began spending more of her free time with one of their colleagues, a twenty-one year old mortuary specialist named Matt Parks.

Instead of going to the Laundromat with him on Saturdays, she would go to the morgue to do autopsies with Matt and do her laundry on Sundays. Leo couldn’t stand the sight of dissections, especially on human cadavers, so he didn’t tag along with her.

Instead of just the two of them getting together to watch Doctor Who, it would be the two of them plus Matt. Jemma would wedge herself between Matt and Leo on her sofa and, instead of falling asleep on Leo’s shoulder, she would nod off on Matt’s.

He forced a smile when Jemma and Matt walked up to him one day in late September, hand in hand, and told him that they were dating. He smiled and congratulated them before going back to his dorm room and crying. He kept wearing a mask and faking a smile around Jemma and Matt when he was really dying inside.

Jealousy feasted on Leopold Fitz  whenever he saw them together.

The winter break drew nearer along with the due date on their collaborative project which would ensure their admission into SHIELD’s Science & Technology Operations facility (Sci Ops for short). This admission would mean that they could become the youngest Academy graduates to date.

 They decided to design a pen that would be able to do almost anything.

 Leo went over to Jemma’s dorm to show her some blueprints for the pen, unlocked the door using the spare key she gave him, and walked in on the couple while they were snogging on her sofa.

He swore that his heart stopped beating as he was rooted to the spot, watching them as they proceeded to snog, unaware of his presence. They were wrapped around each other without a care; Matt’s hands on Jemma’s body, Jemma straddling Matt’s hips, their shirts tossed aside leaving Jemma in her pants and bra, and Jemma moaned in pleasure as Matt did something she liked.

He had dropped the blueprint case with a hollow thud and ran from the room. He didn’t know whether he was going to vomit in disgust, scream in envy, curse in anger, or cry in agony.

He locked himself in his dorm and crashed on his bed, completely defeated.

He didn’t even have the energy to answer the door when Jemma knocked on it later, begging to be let in so that they could talk one-on-one.      

She used the spare key he gave her to open the door. She came into his room and sat on the floor by his bedside, not saying a word.

He didn’t acknowledge her presence and rolled in bed so he was facing the wall.

She apologized for not telling him earlier that she was having Matt over.  He stated that she was almost nineteen years old and that she could make her own decisions. She didn’t need to ask for his permission before having Matt over because he had no say in what went on in her private life. All he asked was that she hung something on the doorknob or went back to Matt’s dorm  if they wanted privacy.

She said she would remember to do that before changing the subject to the blueprints and they both agreed that Project Pen was a go.

He started getting over her, accepting that Matt and Jemma were a couple and even acknowledging that they were happy.

That didn’t mean that he wasn’t still jealous or heartbroken, those emotions were bottled up and hidden away, but he could feel them growing. It was only a matter of time before something made him snap. He was pushed to almost his breaking point when he went over to watch Doctor Who with Jemma and Matt one evening two weeks before Thanksgiving and found a pair of boxers hanging off of Jemma’s doorknob. He stared at the offending item for a minute before walking across campus to the other dorm building, the one where Matt lived. He knew he would find a giant party there. At least the students there believed in the saying “the more, the merrier” and didn’t mind other students from other buildings coming over to join in their revelry. He got drunk and tried to drink away the very thought of what Jemma Simmons was doing at that moment.

He somehow dragged himself back across campus in the wee hours of the morning, into his building, into his dorm, and into his own bed. He woke up with a nasty migraine, a churning stomach, and the painful reason why he got drunk at the front of his mind.

He backed away from the breaking point after that and only talked to Jemma when it was about their project, which was in the last stages of testing. As far as he knew, things between Matt and Jemma were good. He only truly noticed something was wrong a week before they went on winter break.

He had just got the letter back saying that he and Jemma had been accepted into Sci Ops which meant that they would be out of the Academy early and he was going across the hall to tell her the good news but stopped in front of her door when he heard shouting coming from inside.

According to what he was hearing, Jemma was upset because Matt was sleeping around after he promised her that he was loyal and had charmed his way into her bed. She was furious that he lied to get her into bed and she was upset that she lost her virginity to a lowlife like him. Matt yelled back in a very threatening voice that she should be ashamed, after he had politely ignored the fact that she and “that annoying Scottish kid” were still seeing each other. Leo leaned into the door and a jolt of fear went through him when he heard Jemma whimper a plea for mercy before Matt called her a prudish little bitch and then Jemma’s whimpers ceased with a yelp as a loud smack cut through the air followed by a heavy thud, the squeak of shoes on linoleum, and sobbing.

Leo couldn’t believe that Matt had struck Jemma, so he rushed to unlock the door and found Jemma curled into the fetal position and backed into a corner of her kitchen, sobbing while a bruise formed on her cheek and blood dripped from her lip. She was cowering from Matt, who had his hand raised as if to hit her again and had his back turned to the door, so he didn’t notice that Leo had come into the dorm.

 Leo didn’t think, he just acted on instinct. He grabbed a fire extinguisher and rammed the metal bottom of it into the base of Matt’s skull, knocking him unconscious.

He rushed to Jemma’s side and she  scrambled to embrace him. He half carried her back to his dorm and sat her down on the sofa before brewing her a cup of tea and sitting with her while she told him everything. He told her that they had been accepted into Sci Ops and that they would be leaving the Academy after winter holiday. He called campus security to arrest Matt, patched Jemma up, packed up her belongings, and they lived together in his dorm for the remainder of their time at the Academy.  

They had been inseparable since. 

 As the years passed at Sci Ops, they grew closer and Leo’s feelings grew. It took a few years, but on the night of Jemma’s twenty-first birthday, Leo surprised her with a small party and confessed his feelings for her.

It was just the two of them in their apartment with a cake he baked for her and alcohol (now that both of them were legally allowed to drink). They didn’t drink much and that was okay. Leo pulled out her gift, a new lab coat with her name embroidered above the pocket in dark blue, and watched as she ripped the paper off of the box and gasped at it. He ended up blurting out that he loved her and she stared at him for about a half a second before asking him if he really meant it. He said that he did and then the confessions about her just came rushing out. He told her everything that he loved about her and he told her about how badly it hurt him to see her with Matt. After he was done, Jemma leaned forward without saying a word and kissed him.

She pulled back after a few seconds and whispered her “I love you” against his lips before kissing him again. The rest of that night was almost four years’ worth of penned up emotion fuelling both of them as they made love to each other. There were no regrets that came with the rising sun, only gentle kisses and touches.

Leo Fitz had never been happier.

Three years after that, Leo proposed to Jemma with his grandmother’s antique engagement ring and she said yes.

It would be a secret engagement and a secret marriage so that they could stay with SHIELD. SHIELD had strict anti-frat policies in place for their Sci-Tech specialists (which was rubbish in Leo’s opinion because field operatives could get married).

That knowledge didn’t stop him from getting her name tattooed on his chest near his heart. He gave the thought of tattooing her name onto his body a lot of careful deliberation because it was natural for things to not go as planned, including romantic relationships.

He got her name on his chest anyway because Leo had only ever loved two women with his entire being: his mum, whom he loved as only a son could, and Jemma Simmons, whom he loved as his other half and his soulmate.    

The next time they were allotted more than a month’s time off from Sci Ops, they flew back to the UK, told Jemma’s family about the secret engagement (as Lillian already knew about this, seeing as he had asked for the ring) and they all planned a quick wedding for the couple.

Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons were married in a small chapel in the rural area just outside of Glasgow. It was spring and everything was green and beautiful. Jemma wore her mother’s wedding gown and Leo wore his kilt. He was nervous as he stood at the front of the chapel and then turned and cried a little as Jemma, _his bride_ , walked down the aisle on her father’s arm, blushing under her veil. They said their vows, exchanged their rings (which would be worn on necklaces to be hidden beneath their shirts so that suspicion wasn’t raised), were pronounced as husband and wife, and Leo shared a smile with Jemma as he kissed her.

They danced and participated in every tradition before heading off to a luxury hotel as a married couple to celebrate their wedding night and consummate their marriage.

Two years of wedded bliss flew by (even if they kept it hidden in public and only turned into Mr. Leo and Mrs. Jemma Fitz-Simmons behind closed doors, it was still heaven to them) and they had been selected to join an elite team, hand-picked by _THE_ Agent Phil Coulson.

Leo had been apprehensive at first because they would be sleeping in separate bunks and not together like they had for the past four years, and their agreement to join this elite team meant that they would be under constant watch by not only Agent Coulson, but also by Agent Melinda May (AKA “The Calvary”), and she was frightening on her good days. This would mean that they couldn’t show ANY signs of  fraternization.

The only reason why Leo agreed to join the team was because Jemma wanted to join so that they could see the world and help people.

They both succumbed to sexual frustrations and, during a moment of weakness, instead of watching Doctor Who in Jemma’s bunk, they had Doctor Who on but they were totally lost in each other.

In that moment of weakness, they let themselves go.

One and a half  months later, Jemma came to Leo with a pregnancy test strip.

A _positive_ pregnancy test strip.

Everything had changed.

Leo was more than willing to lose his job and find gainful employment elsewhere if it meant that he could be with his wife and their child. Jemma was willing to do the same, but she wanted to wait a little while to find a loophole in the Anti-Frat policy that would prevent SHIELD from separating them. Leo knew that their employment contracts weren’t up for another year and that they were legally obligated to stay with SHIELD until that year was up.

They didn’t have a year. They had less than eight months until the baby would be born and only a couple of months until Jemma began showing.    

They poured tirelessly over the SHIELD Employee Handbook, desperately trying to find a loophole until they found one.  The Handbook had been updated since their marriage, and since a rule about marriage between Sci-Tech Specialists being prohibited had been in place for only a year, they were not bound by it. Their marriage was legal and binding. SHIELD didn’t have any protocols in the book on what to do if there was a pregnancy and if the father and the mother were both Sci-Tech Specialists.

They were worried and walking on eggshells for another month.

In that month, they had allowed themselves the time to wonder who their child would become. They even began thinking about names and where they would live, because the BUS was no place to raise a baby, nor was the Sci Ops facility.

Leo was seeing his wife begin to develop a small bump, barely noticeable beneath all the layers she wore, but when they would lay together in one of their bunks to watch Doctor Who, he would kiss the bump gently, knowing that in seven months, he would get to hold their firstborn. At eleven weeks, they had gone to investigate a case involving floating corpses. Upon further investigation, there was a fatal virus being transmitted via electrical impulses from a Chitauri helmet, leaving the victims electrocuted and floating off of the ground.

Then the unthinkable happened.

Jemma caught the virus and was quarantined in the lab.

She was given two hours to live.

Leo was doing what he could to stay positive. He knew his wife, she would make a cure, or an _anti-serum_ , and she would survive... She _had_ to survive, for him and for their unborn child.

 He created a delivery system for the anti-serum and passed it into the quarantined lab where Jemma was losing what little faith and hope she had.

Time was running out when he reassured her that everything was going to be okay, more or less reassuring himself that she would survive. In a moment of desperation, he risked his own life by entering the lab with the helmet and they worked together to form a cure using the cells scraped from the helmet.

Two trials on two rats had failed, leaving them floating in their aquarium and the third trial was delivered to the final rat who seemed normal for a few moments until it emitted a flash of light and floated.

Time was up, but Leo refused to accept that.

He began preparing another trial when he heard Jemma whisper an apology behind him. He was going to turn and ask her what she was apologizing for when he blacked out.

He pushed himself up off the floor and shook his head before pulling himself up and then he noticed that the rat for trial number three was alive and he said so, trailing off when he noticed that Jemma wasn’t in the lab.

Then he saw her standing by the open cargo ramp, ready to throw herself from the BUS and sacrifice her own life as well as the life of their unborn child to save his life and the lives of everyone else on board from certain death.

He yelled for her to stop and she turned to face him, offering him as small smile before she was tossed from the BUS in almost slow motion and began to plummet through the air.

He worked quickly to get the anti-serum and he ran into the cargo area and grabbed a parachute, ready to jump and save Jemma, to save his wife and child, or die trying when the chute and the anti-serum was snatched from his grasp by Agent Ward, who jumped after Jemma.

He fell to his knees and prayed to whatever God was out there to please, _please_ , save Jemma. He couldn’t survive if she didn’t.

Thankfully, she was saved and when she appeared in his bunk, he held her close and cried, whispering things like “Don’t you ever do that again, you hear me?” and “Thank God you’re safe, I was so afraid that I lost you. It’s a bloody miracle that you survived.”. He didn’t want to think about how he would have reacted if he lost her.       

 But like all things in this world, miracles came with a price.

And the price was enough to kill Leo.

Two days after her brush with death, he found Jemma on the floor in the decontamination shower with her bra and panties on, slumped against the wall as the water poured onto her. The water running down the drain was tinged with red and Jemma was crying.

She was having a miscarriage due to the shock from the Chitauri virus. Jemma had been strong enough to survive, but their baby wasn’t as lucky.

Jemma treated herself as Leo tried to ignore the pain of losing their baby.

They buried their child in one of Jemma’s old shoeboxes, ashamed of themselves for not giving their baby a proper burial.

When they went to watch Doctor Who, they found that the pain was too much for them to ignore. They left the TV off and cried together, mourning the loss of their child.

Tattoo number five is the half pink-half blue awareness ribbon for infant and pregnancy loss and it is emblazoned on his left bicep.

It serves as a steady reminder that he had to keep working with SHIELD, with Jemma, to make their world a better place. If they didn’t, then the loss of their child would have been in vain.

It was up to him, to _them_ , to make the world safer.

Maybe another child could live to be born if they worked to make the world better.

“Fitz?”, came Jemma’s soft voice as the doors of the lab whooshed shut behind her.

“What is it Jemma?”, he asked, looking up from his work.

“I have to tell you… even if May said not to…”, she began, a worried look crossing her face.

“Hey now… what’s the matter?”, Leo said as he put down his pencil and took his wife’s hand in his own.

“Skye… her DNA… is an exact match to Agent Coulson’s DNA… so I ran a paternity test and found that he is Skye’s real father…”

“Why would that concern May?”, He asked.

“I ran another DNA test and matched Skye’s DNA against all of SHIELD’s female employees, because I’m guessing that Coulson was dedicated to SHIELD twenty one years ago and therefore dated within the agency… He’s a field agent and can do that after all…”, Jemma replied, pulling off her lab coat, the same one he gave to her as a present almost six years ago, and draping it across her chair.

 “So what does May have to do with this?” , he asked again.

“Don’t you see what I’m getting at? May is Skye’s mother…”, Jemma emphasized.

“And you’re positively sure about this?”

“Positive.”, she murmured sadly and rested a hand on her abdomen.

Leo felt a tinge of sadness as she rubbed her abdomen.

The miscarriage made her feel like she was less than a woman for not being able to have the baby she so desperately wanted. It made him feel like less of a man for not being able to protect his wife and baby better. Seeing Skye reunite with her parents would be happy but he wasn’t sure how much of it they could take.

Her honey colored eyes filled with tears and she sniffled as he pulled her into a hug.

He still had the bravery of his ancestors in his blood, he had his mother’s intuition, he was never lost when he had Jemma, and he could work hard to make sure that the world was a safer place for all unborn babies.

Nobody deserved to feel this type of heartbreak.

“Hey, have you two seen Skye?”, Ward asked as he entered the lab, ignoring the fact that Jemma was crying into Leo’s shirt.

“I think s-she went up to talk t-to Agent Coulson…”, Jemma stuttered, wiping her eyes.

 “Oh okay…”, Ward said and left, but not before he turned and said, “and Fitzsimmons… I’m sorry for your loss.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Questions? Feedback?  
> Comments are welcomed! Your feedback can help me improve!


	4. Jemma Simmons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma Simmons has her fair share of ink too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait, RL happened and I got a little bit of writer's block.  
> Thank you all for your continued support! Any and all mistakes are my own.

* * *

**Jemma Simmons**

Jemma Simmons prided herself on being and outwardly displaying that she was a professional in her field of study.

A _leading_ professional, at that.

But even amid her professionalism, she still hid secrets and led a life outside the lab.

Sure, she liked following rules and all (What else could she say? Following the rules made her feel like a good person.), but everyone leads a second life in private that only a few other people know about.

Jemma’s private life was known only to Leo Fitz.

Jemma swore that he knew her better than she did in every aspect.  

She had a hidden life beneath that lab coat of hers and the only physical reminders that she had such a life were her four tattoos.

Her first tattoo was on her left shoulder blade. It was a heart formed out of  the names of her parents and her grandmother in her loopy, black scrawl. She had designed the tattoo herself and was proud of her handiwork.

Her family had been there for her every step of the way, constantly encouraging her to be the best she could be. From her earliest years of formal education, they gave her all they could and didn’t hold her back when her teachers wanted to pull her out of her age group of five year olds who were starting to read books and do basic mathematics and put her in with kids who were two years older than her so that she could learn more advanced things.

Jemma had been scared of being different.

 Her parents told her that she wasn’t different, that she was gifted and that she should feel proud about it and not scared.

Jemma believed them and embraced her genius.

Neither Jemma or her family realized that “gifted” would mean getting a letter from MIT.

Jemma was fifteen when she got the letter from MIT stating that she was being offered a full-ride scholarship.

Of course her parents let her go and of course she went, leaving home when she was sixteen to study in America.

Jemma knew that she was different, going to school with people that were two years older than her had taught her that, but crossing the Atlantic ocean and being in America alone was what really opened her eyes to just how different she was.

Instead of having her peers constantly remind her that she was younger and shunning her like they did when she was in Sheffield, her peers (and even a few professors) at MIT would either treat her like a child, downright ignore her, or didn’t take her seriously.

She got her tattoo after she took her finals at the end of the year before she flew back home to Sheffield for summer holiday.

When she returned to MIT for her second year of study, she was already used to the homesickness, the loneliness, and the way her peers ignored her. She adapted to her surroundings and began doing her best work, sometimes staying late in the labs to work on reports and complete extra credit assignments. She was doing all of this to keep herself sane and she hoped that somehow she would show everyone how wrong they were for underestimating her. Maybe by turning some heads she wouldn’t feel as alone.

Looking back, she realized that she _had_ gone a little mad in her attempt to fill the void of loneliness.

Then, one night, everything changed.

 Jemma was taking a small break one night when she was working on a report in the biochem lab and she turned off her station light to sit and enjoy the calming effects of the quiet darkness.       

 She had just closed her eyes when the door to the lab opened and someone snuck in.

Her eyes shot open and she looked into the darkness, seeing only the faint silhouette of a person creeping back to the other corner of the lab where the chemicals were stored.

She heard the door to the supply room creak, saw the light from inside the closet, and heard the shifting of glass before the light went out. Then she heard the intruder walking to the door.

She had to stop them.

Before she knew what she was doing, she was telling the intruder that chemicals could only be removed from the lab with proper authorization.

As if a thief would give a damn about authorization!

She saw the figure of the thief spin around and boldly turned on her desk lamp, ready to face the intruder.

She had stated on many occasions that it was  scientifically impossible for one’s heart to skip a beat, _especially_ when looking at someone who was aesthetically pleasing, but the instant she laid eyes on the thief, she mentally reevaluated that conclusion.

Her heart had _definitely_ skipped a beat.

The intruder was a young man, possibly her age or close to it, with a pale complexion, glossy curls that were dark honey colored (or was it light brown?), and the deepest azure eyes she had ever seen.

She also noted that he had a bottle of liquid arsenic.

She collected herself and asked him who he was and if he had written authorization to remove the arsenic.

He replied, telling her that he was an engineering student and she grabbed her cell phone off the desk, flipping it open to call campus security.

He added hastily that he needed the arsenic for an experiment he was doing.

Then she noticed his accent.

_Scottish. Possibly from Glasgow._

He was quite far from home as well. Maybe he could use her help…

She offered to help him, as she _clearly_ had more experience with hazardous chemicals. She was always up for a challenge, maybe this was the chance she needed to garner some respect and attention.

She offered him a seat and they began talking about his experiment. Jemma noticed how he was gradually warming up to her, even if he wasn’t making too much eye contact.

He asked for her name after about an hour and she introduced herself, saying that nobody really called her “Jemma” and that she preferred to be called by her surname. He shook her hand and told her that his name was Leo Fitz, but that everyone called him Fitz.

Jemma asked what the arsenic was for and his face fell.

Then Fitz took a deep breath and apologized to her, saying that there wasn’t an experiment, and that he was planning on committing suicide by poisoning himself.  

Her mood changed from excited to concerned in a heartbeat.

Jemma explained that she wouldn’t be able to stop him from poisoning himself but that he shouldn’t kill himself because he was the only one who had really talked to her at all since she arrived.

He was just as lonely as she was and just as gifted too.

He put the arsenic back and even walked with her back to the dorms (turns out that they lived in the same building), promising that he would call.

Somehow they kept running into each other all over campus; at mealtimes, at the library, and one time he asked if he could do his laundry with her because he didn’t have any quarters.

As their laundry was being washed, they talked about their interests and found that they both enjoyed watching Doctor Who. Jemma invited Fitz to her dorm to watch with her and soon the two of them were inseparable.

They would do everything together; laundry, research, projects, and they would even finish each other’s sentences.

One time, she caught a nasty cold and fever while on her period and Fitz had braved a blizzard to get her chicken noodle soup, tea, and feminine hygiene products. She never expected a guy to not mind going into the female needs aisle and picking up a box of tampons, but Fitz told her that he had done it for his mum before and it was no problem. Jemma took care of Fitz when he was sick too.

They were matched in wits and smarts, whatever Jemma didn’t know, Fitz did and vice versa.

Jemma couldn’t help but feel like there was something other than friendship and partnership between them. Every time they would watch Doctor Who together, she would fall asleep and wake up against Fitz’s chest or shoulder. He would be awake and staying still while flipping through other channels on TV, trying not to wake her.

Every time he did this, Jemma swore that her feelings for him changed a little.  

They were both offered a chance to join SHIELD, a covert world organization that helped people. Jemma and Fitz agreed and then moved to upstate New York and started school at the SHIELD Academy.

They were right across the hall from each other in their dorm building and that was great news for their work together. People actually started calling their team _“FitzSimmons”_.

Most of their colleagues swore that she and Fitz were dating but they both denied those accusations.

Every time Jemma told people that she and Fitz were just friends, more and more of her conscience called her a piss-poor liar.

She found herself wanting Fitz as more than just a friend, even having her dreams turning to fantasies of Leo and how meticulous and skilled his hands were, how he’d demonstrate his skills on her body in a way that would make her jolt awake at night with her knickers clinging to her in a way that was both pleasant and uncomfortable.

She would try to flirt a little with Fitz to see if he reacted but either she was rubbish at flirting or he was rubbish at picking up on her attempts because he didn’t take notice.

Jemma found out it must have been the latter of the two because her flirtations did catch the interest of Matt Parks, a twenty-one year old mortuary specialist who was very attractive, even if he wasn’t Fitz.  Matt was nice, he also enjoyed Doctor Who and he seemed to get along well with Fitz. Fitz was more on edge around Matt but Jemma just chalked it up to nerves about the collaborative project they were doing to ensure their early graduation and entry into SHIELD’s Sci-Ops facility.

She and Matt began dating that week and things started out innocent and fun between them, gradually moving faster and getting more intimate as the months passed.

Fitz seemed okay with her being with Matt, even if he kind of intruded into their traditions of doing laundry together and watching Doctor Who. Jemma would go do autopsies with Matt while Fitz hung back to do his laundry alone, something he didn’t seem to mind.

Jemma enjoyed Matt’s company, namely the times spent fooling around together on her sofa in various states of undress until Fitz walked in on them.

He had bolted from the room and Jemma had followed him, much to Matt’s dismay.

Jemma apologized for not telling Fitz about Matt being over and Fitz told Jemma that she was a grown woman who could do what she wanted with who she wanted. He just wanted her to put a sock on the doorknob so he wouldn’t come barging in on them. 

She and Fitz designed, built, and submitted their project after testing to the Sci-Ops facility.

Jemma wasn’t sure of her feelings for a while after the incident with Matt on her sofa because of how hurt Fitz sounded when he told her she was allowed to do whatever she pleased.

Matt showed up early before Doctor Who night and asked if he could talk to Jemma. She agreed and Matt proceeded to pour out his heart to her, telling her how she was beautiful, smart, funny and how he loved her. He promised her that this was the truth and that he meant every word.

She forgot all about Fitz and Doctor Who and everything when Matt kissed her.

She kissed back and was half aware of her hands moving to pull her clothes off and somehow get Matt’s off as well and then Matt hanging his boxers on the doorknob before he took her to her bed.

Jemma lost her virginity that night and woke up in the early hours of the morning to the hard realization that she regretted being charmed into bed by Matt and then just having sex like it was nothing and also that she didn’t truly love Matt. She had imagined a more romantic way of losing her virginity and she had wanted to lose it to someone she loved.

She stood by the window in her bathrobe and could’ve sworn she saw Fitz staggering up the path to the building.

Leo Fitz was the man she was in love with, she had loved him all along. She had wanted to lose her virginity to Leo  and made love to him while losing it, cuddling each other during the after-play. What Matt did was just shag her and then fall asleep; no cuddling, no after-play and there was hardly any foreplay.

His hands hadn’t been gentle or loving, they had been groping and needy.

Jemma was disgusted with herself.

She took a scalding hot shower to sear the lingering feel of Matt’s hands touching her off her body and then puttered about her dorm room, tidying up aimlessly, until Matt woke up and asked her what was for breakfast.

Jemma only had cereal and tea in her dorm, and Matt had come up behind her after getting dressed and pressed his hard-on into her clothed arse, telling her that he didn’t get to give her his wake-up call. Jemma wanted to vomit because she had said yes last night to him, but she bravely told herself that today was a new day. She sidestepped Matt and poured his tea, avoiding his advances.

Matt smiled at her sweetly during breakfast and Jemma had hid behind a fake smile, wanting to get him out of her dorm and then burn her bed sheets.

Her phone rang and she answered it to find it was Fitz and he had a hangover. She had smiled when she realized he needed her help and Matt asked her if it was Fitz. Jemma had nodded and said that it was which left a sour look on Matt’s face. Jemma hung up with Fitz and then pulled her shoes on to see Fitz, the only thing that stopped her was Matt clearing his throat with a disapproving look on his features.

Matt told Jemma that he didn’t like her spending all of her time with Fitz. Jemma lied and said that she and Leo were just friends, to which Matt raised his voice in anger, slammed his fist on the table and demanded to know why “Fitz” was all of a sudden being called “Leo”. Jemma was frightened and then Matt’s features softened and he apologized for getting mad and left, but not before reminding Jemma that he didn’t like disloyalty.

Jemma rushed over to Leo and began bustling around to care for him. She asked him why on earth he got hammered and he drowsily replied with saying her name, her _first_ name.

Jemma didn’t mention that part of his hazy hangover to him when he asked and she spent more and more time with him as the days before winter break became less.

Matt got angry whenever she came back from Leo’s and always demanded an explanation as to why she was still talking to Leo. Jemma started to feel threatened but didn’t tell anyone.

One week before winter break began, Jemma was collecting her laundry from the dryer alone while Leo was printing out their plane tickets and she overheard one of the older cadets talking about washing lingerie before wearing it. Her girlfriends laughed and one asked her why she went out and bought new lingerie. The cadet answered and said it was for Matt Parks, her _boyfriend_ , and that she wanted to surprise him on their _four month_ anniversary.

Jemma was devastated and grabbed her laundry from the dryer without folding it and ran from the campus Laundromat to her building, going into her dorm and closing the door before crying as she threw her clothes into her suitcase haphazardly.

The door to her dorm opened and she rushed out, already expecting Leo to come by around this time with their tickets.

She stopped short when she realized it was Matt, then she yelled at him, expressing her feelings by calling him a liar and a cheater. She walked into the kitchen, still livid and upset. Matt followed her,  yelling that he wasn’t sure why he had bothered with her in the first place. She yelled back that she hated how he lied to get her into bed and then lost her virginity to a lowlife like him.

Matt was turning red with rage now and he advanced on Jemma, walking her back into a corner, telling her that he was so sick of how she was still seeing Leo when he had told her to stop seeing him ages ago. Jemma opened her mouth to protest and Matt raised his hand to her. All she could do was whimper a plea of mercy but mercy never came.

Matt backhanded her hard across the face while calling her a prudish little bitch, and Jemma fell to the floor, scooting back into the corner and tasting the metallic tang of blood in her mouth as she sobbed.

He raised his hand to her again and then there was a loud thud as Matt was knocked out and hit the floor.

Jemma looked up and saw the livid face of Leo, who had the fire extinguisher in hand.

She was relieved to see him and his face immediately softened when he saw her. He rushed over to her and helped her up and out of the dorm, tugging the quilt off of her sofa and wrapping it around her shoulders as they went back to his dorm.

Jemma was patched up, given some tea, and then Leo called the campus police to arrest Matt Parks for domestic abuse and battery. When that was taken care of he sat down with Jemma and held her, as if he knew that she needed to be with someone she could trust.

They lived in his dorm until they graduated and then they moved in together at Sci-Ops and spent the years growing closer.

Jemma got a tattoo on her 20th birthday of a small lion wearing lab goggles with Leo’s name nearby in her hip/abdominal region. In all honesty, she had been in love with Leo for ages and this was her way of remembering who her true hero was whenever her hope wavered.

On her 21st birthday, she and Leo celebrated together in a quiet way.

Leo baked Jemma a cake and they had a little scotch before Leo pulled a box out of nowhere and told her to open it. Jemma opened the box and gasped in awe as she pulled out a brand new lab coat with her name embroidered on the pocket in a dark blue that matched his eyes.                     

 Jemma looked at him with adoration and he said, _“I love you”_.     

Jemma asked him if he really meant it, not wanting to have heard him wrong.

He said he did an a tidal wave of confessions spilled out.

He had loved her since MIT and all through her bad relationship with Matt. He loved her now and told her that she was his best friend as well as the woman he couldn’t live without.

Jemma leaned forward and kissed him before confessing her love for him.

Leo slowly deepened the kiss and then they were making love. Leo was slow and gentle, he was a very meticulous and tender lover. He didn’t rush and rocked into her slowly, having her reach her peak before easing her down again and kissing every centimeter of her skin. They cuddled all night and Jemma didn’t regret a thing in the morning.

Three blissful years later, Leo proposed and Jemma said yes, even if marriage was in violation of the SHIELD handbook.

They were married in a secret wedding in Scotland and it may have been rushed or inexpensive but it was a wedding nonetheless. Jemma was still happy and it still lived up to every wedding daydream she’d ever had, so it was perfect to her.

Then they were chosen for a special team with Agent Coulson and Melinda May on board.

If their marriage wasn’t a secret before then it was now.  

Jemma got her third tattoo of a compass and the phrase, _“Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost”._ She saw the tattoo on Leo and he had explained the message behind it, then Jemma wanted one of her own, thinking that, not only would a couple’s tattoo be nice to have, but also about the great adventure they were going to go on with Agent Coulson and their other teammates.

But, like all great teams, they had their weaknesses.

Jemma’s weakness was getting a back massage from Leo because then she would massage him and the heat would build until they were throwing each other’s clothes off and making love.  Their moment of weakness happened so suddenly during one of their Doctor Who nights when Jemma’s shoulders were bothering her and Leo rubbed them without thinking and the next thing they knew, they were stuck on each other like superglue. Their moment lasted all night, and was not mentioned the next morning.

It went unmentioned for one and a half months, when Jemma realized she had missed two periods. She’d usually miss one every couple of years  but never two in a row. She bought a home pregnancy test and she felt her heart kick up the pace when she saw that it was a positive test. She promptly went and showed Leo who paled and asked her how they were going to get out of this together, because marriages were banned for all scientists and assets and their contracts weren’t up for another year.

A baby wouldn’t wait a year to present itself, it would be there sooner than that, _much sooner!_

Fortunately it was in the Handbook that their marriage was legal and binding. It said nothing about a baby in the book though, and that worried them.

A month passed and Jemma noticed her abdomen beginning to round out a little. She wore more clothes, hoping to cover it up and it worked until she and Leo were alone and Leo would lift her shirt up and kiss the growing bump where their baby was living, talking to it and telling it how beautiful its mum is or how smart she is, and Jemma would wind up telling her bump that its father is a downright genius and a hero.

They were very happy.

Then Jemma had caught the Chitauri virus on a standard mission turned on its arse.

She was given two hours to live and she worked hard, not losing hope until the last moments. She had to survive for the team, for Leo, and for their baby.

 All three antiserums failed and Jemma faced the hardest decision of her life. If she stayed on board when she shorted out, then everyone on board would die, including Leo, herself, and the baby. If she jumped, then she could take her life and the baby’s and then everyone else would live. She decided to jump and she knocked Leo out with a fire extinguisher and walked to the edge of the cargo ramp, looking down at her fall. She heard Leo screaming behind her and turned to give her husband one final smile and she planned to mouth the words “I love you.”, but her breath was stolen by the wind and a powerful downdraft pulled her from the BUS.

She was falling and she didn’t need to be a genius to know that falling from the height she did at the speed she was going and hitting the water would be the equivalent of jumping from a skyscraper and landing on asphalt.

Then Grant Ward appeared out of nowhere and injected her with the antiserum before releasing his parachute.        

  Jemma blacked out when she shorted out and woke up completely to May helping her walk to the bathroom with a clean change of clothes in her hands and telling her to get cleaned up because Coulson wanted to speak to her.   

 After her brush with death she showered off and spoke to Coulson. Then she went to the one person she had to do the most apologizing to.

Leo’s bunk door was opened a crack and Jemma slipped in, closing the door behind her as she went. Leo looked around and then wrapped her in a bear hug, murmuring words she wasn’t hearing, she was just so glad to be able to hug him again. She was so glad that everyone had survived her brush with death.

Unfortunately, one of them had been lost.

A few days later was when the pain started in her abdomen. One flash of pain happened to be so intense that she dropped a Erlenmeyer flask with undiluted dendrotoxin in it and had the flask break and the contents splatter all over her.

 She ran to the decontamination shower and stripped down to her bra and panties before starting the flow of cold water over her body and smelling the metallic coppery tang of  blood and looking down to find blood running down her legs.

Her heart stopped when she realized that the baby had been lost and that she had miscarried. She would use some of the emergency medicine on the BUS to expel the rest of the tissue from her body but all she could do now was sit down and cry.

Leo came and asked her what was wrong until he noticed she was bleeding.

He fell to his knees in the shower with her, fully clothed and stared blankly as her blood ran down the drain. She wept bitterly as Leo comforted her.

They buried the baby in a shoebox when they landed at the HUB.

Jemma stayed upset and not feeling much like a woman. She wanted a baby and so had Leo but things never work out exactly how you want them to.

They slept together in the same bed after that because both of them still mourned the loss of their baby and were plagued with nightmares about Jemma falling to her death. The team didn’t say anything about their sleeping arrangements, understanding the need to be with people you trusted explicitly after having a brush with death.

Jemma got her fourth tattoo on her calf. It was a small angel in light pink with baby blue wings; the angel of her lost child.

Leo got an awareness tattoo to remember their child by, she got an angel. Maybe if she was a better scientist she would’ve created an antiserum that would’ve protected the baby.

Maybe then she would’ve stayed pregnant.

If only she hadn’t been so damn selfish!

If she could go back in time, she would’ve stopped herself from going on that mission.

Leo said that feeling guilty was just grief, that it would go away, but she had a feeling that if Leo had one wish he would wish to go back in time too.

She cried into her husband’s chest and Ward said, “I’m sorry for your loss.”.

Jemma snapped to attention and Ward was already halfway up the spiral staircase when Jemma and Leo came out of the lab.

“What? H-how did you know?”, Jemma asked through her tears.

Ward replied as he came back down the steps, “Well, when we were in the ocean, your shirt kind of rode up and I noticed that you had a bump. As for your loss, I noticed that you and Fitz buried something at the HUB… I knew it wasn’t a lab rat because you don’t feel that much for them, then I noticed how Simmons kept resting her hands on her abdomen… I’m not blind…”.

Skye burst out of the upstairs area in tears and she ran to Ward, embracing him.

Coulson came up behind her with a pained facial expression, saying, “Skye, if I’d have only known before all this…”, he paused and his eyes welled up, “I-I would’ve searched the whole world for you.”

Ward looked confusedly between his girlfriend and his boss, finally noticing how they both had similar characteristics.

“Sir… Are you and Skye--”, Ward began.

Coulson nodded and cut him off.

“Yes… Skye is my long lost daughter…”

* * *

                        


	5. Grant Ward

**Grant Ward**

Grant Ward was the embodiment of excellence when it came to being a specialist; he was fluent in many languages, he had an outwardly dull and unreadable personality that could be easily adapted to fit almost any role he was assigned. He was not a people person but could pretend to be one to get the job done. He could (supposedly) choose not to feel.

He was a weapon; a tool that could be used for any job. It was a trait that his C.O.’s and his S.O. valued.

His years of loneliness and his harsh childhood had turned him cold. He was accustomed to being forgotten and only valued for his experience, skills, or how fast he could get the assignment done and he was so used to being given orders that he never really thought about what _he_ wanted.

He had a simple job but there were a million and half ways it could go wrong. Both SHIELD and  HYDRA needed a weapon, someone who was able to handle anything, and Grant was the most convenient tool for the job.  

Sometimes his job got messy (nobody ever said being a specialist would be a walk in the park). He didn’t think about the things he did, the lives he took, or the dirty deeds that Garrett did.

The only way he was able to do what he did and sleep soundly at night was by being accustomed to tuning out his conscience and emotions.

He was like a brick wall that had been vandalized so many times, resulting in his confusion of not knowing who he really was.

He had _never_ known who he was because he had never been given the opportunity to find out.

His three tattoos were the only things that he was certain were distinguishing pieces of evidence to prove that he still had some semblance of a life outside of his work.

They were a subtle reminder that he was still human and had some semblance of control over his life. Not all of them had some deep rooted meaning, most of them he got just because he thought they were interesting to look at.

 Grant didn’t really think that _everything_ had to be symbolic of something else, in fact, he always wondered what was so wrong about just liking something for the sake of its aesthetic appeal?

Three of his tattoos did have a significant amount of meaning behind them but to understand them, one would first have to hear the full version of  Grant Ward’s life story, and nobody had ever gotten close enough to Grant’s heart and earned his trust, so his story had never been told.

It wasn’t a fairytale by any stretch of the imagination, his was more like a sad story with the final chapters ripped out. He didn’t think that he deserved a happy ending with all the things he’d done         

Grant Ward was born into a family who loved their wealth more than their own family members.

Antoine Triplett hadn’t been kidding when he said that the Ward family was like a cable version of the Kennedys.

His family had always put off an air of cheerfulness and wore a façade that reflected their wealth. Contrary to popular belief, Grant Ward was not raised in an impoverished home, his family had been quite wealthy, but that was about it.

His parents were both awful, two-faced people who were perfect, smiling socialites in public but behind closed doors, they were heartless, cruel, and lived only for their wealth, social image, and kissing ass.

Grant’s father, Alexander Ward, was a big-shot corporate boss who was hell-bent on using every trick in the book (including lying, cheating, blackmailing, and backstabbing) to get promoted to partner. Alexander had a black heart full of greed who used his wife and children as pawns in his social game. Alexander didn’t love his wife or his children and would only pretend to like them in public. He had many “secretaries” and “personal assistants” that he would spend time with whenever he would go away on lengthy international business trips.

Grant’s mother, Olivia Ward, was a cold, cruel, greedy and narcissistic demon of a woman who only loved herself and her money. Her social image was her pride and joy. She had been born into wealth, raised in it, and had married Alexander for it.

Grant was the second youngest out of four children.

 His oldest sibling by six years and only sister, Rosemary, had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and a multiple personality disorder at a young age and was kept locked away in the house all the time because Alexander and Olivia didn’t want their mentally unstable daughter wreaking havoc upon their social images. She was eventually sent away to a mental hospital when she was sixteen, so Grant never really got to know her as well as he should have. His parents never mentioned her in public and nobody outside of their family knew about her.

 Maynard, Grant’s older brother by three years, was manipulative and violent towards his younger brothers. He was the one who first instilled hate into Grant. He also forced Grant to beat up their youngest sibling.

Grant grew up among all this rage and his anger towards his parents and Maynard only multiplied it.  

Grant entered military school at a young age and then he went AWOL, stealing a car, and driving through the night to get back at his brother, who had lost his temper and killed their sister.

 He was arrested and then he met John Garrett, an older man who offered Grant an ultimatum; join him and become a man or stand trial for arson and attempted murder and go to prison while Maynard walked free.

Grant agreed to join Garrett and, true to his word, Garrett released him. But only to put him out in the wilderness with nothing except his dog; a chocolate lab named Buddy, telling him that if he wanted to be a man he’d have to survive in the wild first.  

Those years in the wild had been hard but Grant managed to survive by stealing from cabins and living off the land.

Buddy was his sole companion and his best friend, and Garrett, the cruel old man that he was, knew this, so he told Grant that, for his final test before entering SHIELD as an undercover HYDRA agent, he would have to kill Buddy to prove that he has no weaknesses.

He couldn’t do it.

He fired one shot up into the sky and watched Buddy run off into the woods.

He heard Buddy barking as he ran and then a second gunshot was heard a moment later, silencing the barking.

There was only one other person in the area with a gun.

 Grant walked back to the truck with a stoic face.

He was done feeling anything at all.

When he finally got back to civilization he had a few months to himself, he got a job at a bar as a bouncer and rented out an upper floor of a house for that time. He got his first tattoo on his arm, a tribal tattoo of a howling wolf on his right bicep symbolizing his loneliness.

He was that lone wolf, he would always be that lone wolf.     

When he entered the SHIELD Special Ops Academy, he put 110% into being his best and becoming an agent. He had a certain knack for making and disarming bombs, a skill he put to good use in the field.

He didn’t get distracted by a single thing, not by the girls there, not by the intimidations of his peers, nothing.

He graduated with the highest honors as a specialist, just falling short of Agent Romanoff’s perfect records.

He got a tattoo on his back about a week after that; a cross made out of two stakes lashed together with barbed wire, the vertical stake appearing to stab through his skin and come out below with blood dripping from the sharp tip. The words _“Only The Strong Survive”_ were written around the cross.

That was a quote from his C.O. while at the Academy, and it was something he’d never forget.

After that he traveled the world for SHIELD, killing people who posed a threat to SHIELD and stealing secrets in high risk undercover assignments.

He was versatile, becoming whatever SHIELD needed him to become just to get the job done, and he was pretty damn good at it too.

 Then the Chitauri invaded and the battle of New York happened.

He was stationed in Paris at the time on an undercover mission when he was pulled out and taken stateside to the HUB.

There he met Maria Hill and was interviewed, he told her everything his Level Six clearance granted him access to.

Then the should-be-dead Agent Phil Coulson walked out of the shadows and said, “Welcome to Level Seven.”

The next thing he knew, he was on the BUS with Coulson, Melinda May “the Cavalry”, and two science geeks named FitzSimmons who he saw had a friendly demeanor out in the open but they were hiding something.

Garrett told him before he took the job that he was looking for something, that Coulson wasn’t right in the head and that SHIELD had done something to bring him back. His job was to report back to Garrett on everything.

The job went smoothly until he and Coulson went out to kidnap a Rising Tide hacker from her van in the back alley of a diner in Los Angeles.

He was glad that he was wearing aviators when they picked her up because when Coulson threw open the door to her van, she had the most surprised and innocent look on her face.

She had big brown doe eyes, flawless olive toned skin, pouty pink lips, and long flowing brown hair.

“Hey. What up?”, she asked in a nervous yet somehow nonchalant way.

Then Coulson put a bag over her head and the spell was broken, so Grant cuffed her hands and got in the van with Coulson and they drove to the airfield.

The girl didn’t put up a fight, she didn’t even speak.

When they reached the BUS, Grant tugged her out of the van and walked her up the cargo ramp.

“Watch the stairs.”, he said gruffly and the girl laughed.

“Too bad I have this bag on my head and can’t see a damn thing, genius.”, she said, her voice laden with sarcasm yet dripping honey, before she began taking the stairs like a pro.

When they got her into the cage and un-cuffed her hands, and Grant ripped the bag off her head.

She shook out her chestnut waves and Grant took this opportunity to look her over better.

The girl was beautiful.

They learned her name was Skye.

 _“Skye… that’s a beautiful name…”_ , Grant thought while maintaining his composure as an interrogator.

They interrogated her until Coulson left and gave Grant explicit instructions for what was about to happen when he returned to the interrogation room.

Grant knew that looks could be deceiving when it came to interrogations and so they would be utilizing a truth serum.

Shock and fear passed through him when Coulson injected _HIM_ instead of Skye with the powerful serum before leaving and locking the door.

He was at Skye’s mercy now.

His body was already beginning to betray him in the worst ways. When Skye removed her vest and leaned forward, he glanced at her cleavage. He hoped that Skye didn’t see that.

But what if she had?

What if she asked him something about his wandering eyes?

Would he reply and tell her that he thought she was drop-dead gorgeous?

What if she asked about something else, like his affiliations?

Would he then reveal himself as a member of HYDRA?

She asked him some simple questions first and then, when she leaned over the table a second time, he checked her out again, this time though, he got caught.

Skye asked him if he was checking her out and, of course he couldn’t lie, so he said yes.

She asked why.

He told her everything, that he was attracted to her even though he was supposed to be hiding his feelings and that she was beautiful and that he wanted to get to know her better. He said that she was very smart and extremely gifted with technology, that even one of SHIELD’s top analysts was having no luck with breaking her encryption.

Skye asked him what SHIELD would do with her when they were done with this interrogation. She asked if they would kill her or just let her go.

He confessed that he didn’t know what would happen, but, given her strong ability to work with computers, they’d probably try to recruit her.

“What should I do if they ask me to join SHIELD?”    
 He told her to strongly consider joining SHIELD and that he wasn’t just saying that because he was a SHIELD agent. He told her that she would be a huge asset and that they could definitely improve her quality of life. He told her that SHIELD would ensure that she was well paid, in good health, and that the pros of becoming an agent outweighed the cons.

“Can you ask me something? I’m a little tired of being the only one learning anything here.”

He hesitated, then asked her if she was a cat person or a dog person.

“I’m a little bit of both I guess, but I like dogs more because you can take them on walks and play games with them. They also won’t sit on your laptop while you’re using it. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t rescue a box of kittens if I found them on the side of the road. What about you?”

“I’m a dog person.”, he replied.

“Okay next question.”

“Coke or Pepsi? Diet or regular?”

“Coke, and regular, because aspartame causes cancer.”, she replied, “And you?”

“Jeez, I haven’t had a soda in years…”, he replied, “I don’t even know anymore.”

“Okay then.”

“Favorite color?”, he asked.

“Purple. Yours?”

“I don’t have one. Did you go to college and if so, where did you go, what was your major, and what degree did you earn?”, he asked.

She sighed.

“Actually, I never even finished high school. I dropped out when I turned sixteen. Same question, just answer it.”

“I was pulled out of private school the summer before I was supposed to start the seventh grade and shipped out to Carlsbad California to go to the Army and Navy Academy. I never graduated. I never went to college, unless you count the SHIELD Academy.”, he paused, “Do you have a favorite movie?”

“I thought The Wedding Planner was really good.”, she smiled a little, “How about you?”

“I honestly haven’t had the time to watch a movie recently, unless you count the time when I was recovering from a badly-executed mission in the hospital and they had a Harry Potter movie marathon on TV.”

He paused, thinking about his next question, but never got to ask it because Coulson entered the cage and told Ward that his time was up and that he was needed elsewhere.

He got up with a curt nod towards Skye and left.      

He was putting canned goods away in the kitchen cabinets when Skye and Coulson emerged from the cage.

Coulson asked Skye when she ate last. She said that she had some coffee for breakfast, but nothing else.

Coulson sent her to the  kitchen and said, “Agent Ward can make you a sandwich or something while I go get that paperwork.”

Skye slid onto a stool and looked around.

“So anyone else on the BUS, or is it just you and Coulson?”

He just looked at her and said, “I don’t know if I can disclose that information.”

She shrugged, “Might as well, after all, I’m staying. Coulson went to get my contract of employment and then I’m supposed to go with some other agent to get my physical done at the medical section here at the base.

“Well, in that case there are five of us. There’s Agent Phil Coulson and he’s the leader of the team, Agent Melinda May is the pilot but she’s a SHIELD legend. Then there’s FitzSimmons.”, he sighed and handed Skye her sandwich.

“Who is FitzSimmons? Is he like some super-genius?”

Ward laughed a little, “No, FitzSimmons are actually two people but you got the super-genius part right. Agent Leopold Fitz is a mechanical engineering and robotics whiz. Agent Jemma Simmons is a genius when it comes to biochemistry and she’s also got some medical degrees. She’s the team doctor for all intents and purposes. Between those two, they must have about six masters degrees and four PhDs, not to mention countless bachelor’s degrees.”

Skye chuckled, “I guess she’ll be taking me to get my physical…”

He shrugged, “Or doing it.”

“Oh God I hope not, I’d rather not look my doctor in the eye over breakfast every morning…”, Skye said.

Skye went with Simmons for her physical and they were gone for about six hours.

When they returned, they brought up all of Skye’s belongings from her van and put them in her bunk.

For a while, life was good, things were as close to normal as they could get when you were in the flying freak-show.

Grant became Skye’s Supervising Officer and he began training her hard every day.

Even if Grant liked Skye, he found that she got on his nerves more than he’d ever planned on. She never shut up, she never took her training seriously, she was always late, and when a serious situation arose, she’d make a joke out of it.

She was _so_ fucking infuriating and he couldn’t stand her.

He wished she would just stop being so irritating.

Then everything changed.

Skye almost got killed on her first undercover mission and he had to save her. While he was defending her and fighting off a group  of thugs, every other thing was pushed to the back of his mind.

His sole purpose in that moment was protecting Skye and he was successful in doing just that.

Every other part of that mission went wrong, but in a way, it seemed worthwhile to him because Skye survived.    

After that incident, Grant began saw her change immediately.

Instead of being late for training, she’d be there early and waiting for him. She stopped making jokes. The only words she spoke now consisted of, “Yes Sir.”, “No Sir.”, and the answers to questions directed to her by anyone. She’d only open up and actually have conversations with FitzSimmons and she’d laugh with them, but as soon as Grant would enter the room, she’d turn serious and silent. She stopped smiling and she’d cast down her eyes. The only time she’d ever look his way was when he was speaking to her.

He never realized just how much he had loved her little quirks until they were gone.

He wished that she would go back to being her normal, chatty, late, joking, infuriating self because this new version of Skye was breaking his heart.

One day, they were training and he couldn’t stand her stony silence anymore.

“I wish you would stop that.”, he said.

“Stop what, Sir?”, she asked, standing in a perfect ‘at ease’ position, looking him dead in the eye with an emotionless voice.

“Ugh… just stop it!! Stop calling me ‘Sir’! Stop being so serious! Good Lord Skye, you haven’t made a joke in weeks”, he paced, “Would you go back to being how you were before?”

She blinked and for one second, emotion showed on her face.

She was surprised.

“Permission to speak and act freely Sir?”

He huffed in annoyance.

“Please do!”, he snapped.

“With all due respect Sir---”

“Would you stop with the ‘Sir’?!”

She nodded curtly and continued with a note of sass in her voice,

“I thought you wanted me to take my training seriously? I’ve stopped making jokes, I’ve stopped being late, I’ve started taking my training seriously, and I’ve limited myself to speaking to you only when spoken to first. Correct me if I’m wrong, _Agent Ward_ , but didn’t I do _exactly_ as you instructed me to do?”, she replied.

Then it hit him like a freight train.

This was all his fault.

He had turned her to stone and ruined the vibrant young woman she had been with his ‘all work and no play attitude’.

“Can you please go back to normal then?”, he asked, his own emotions escaping his control, “You have no idea how much I miss the vibrant hacktivist that interrogated me.”

Her stony expression softened.

“What?”, she breathed in astonishment.

He just stood there, caught in her gaze.

“Skye, please. Seeing you like this is breaking my heart. I’d give anything just to see you smile again.”, he replied, “I care about you, and right now, you’re not happy and it’s killing me.”

“Wait, time out.”, she shook her head, “Since when have you cared about me?”

“Since ‘Hey. What up?’.”

“So you weren’t pissed at me after that rescue from Quinn’s mansion?”

“No, God no.”, he replied, “I was thankful you were alive… If you died there, I would never forgive myself.”

“Wow… I thought you were mad at me on that flight home…”

“No. I was confused about my feelings for you.”

“Are you still confused?”

“No.”

A tense silence fell over them and Skye broke it with a question.

“Then how do you feel about me now?”

He steeled himself.

There was no turning back now.

_Just tell her!_

“Iloveyou.”, he said hurriedly.

She cocked an eyebrow.

“Come again?”

“I love you.”

She shook her head in disbelief and his heart broke.

“Grant I--”, she began.

He turned away, muttering as he went.

“Never mind… You don’t feel the same…Just forget it--”

In his moment of self-doubt, she grabbed him by the shoulder and stood on tiptoe to crush her lips against his.

Grant Ward froze for an instant and then realized that Skye was kissing him.

He wasn’t expecting this from her, but now that it was happening, there was no way he could refuse her.

He picked her up like she was weightless and kissed her back with enthusiasm.

She responded by wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist before running a hand up and into his hair.    

They broke apart and she smiled against his lips.

“Thought you didn’t feel the same?”, Grant murmured.

“You never let me finish my statement…”

 “Care to finish?”

“I definitely love you too.”, she answered.

Things returned to normal with the exception of Grant and Skye conveniently going into the hull to “take inventory” at the same time.

A few weeks later, he got a new outline of a tattoo of a mechanical heart on his chest with a banner wrapped around it with the words _“Even robots have hearts”_ emblazoned onto it.

He never got it filled in.

Instead he was called back to the BUS for a mission involving floating bodies.

It was a Chitauri virus that was transferred through electric impulses. It was 100% fatal, once you had it in your system, you only had about a day at most to live before you emitted a powerful burst of energy and died.

Then Simmons caught it.

Grant watched as FitzSimmons fought to create a cure and failed. Skye was distraught over the forthcoming death of her friend and Grant comforted her. Then the team left Fitz and Simmons alone.

Minutes later, the alarm was blaring and the lights were flashing, signaling that the cargo bay door was opening.

“Grant, she’s gonna jump! You have to save her!”, Skye cried and he nodded, running out of the lounge just in time to see Fitz running from the lab with the cure device and a parachute.

He leapt over the rail, snatched the chute and the device from Fitz and ran to the edge of the ramp, jumping as Fitz yelled, “The antiserum works, but she jumped!”

He was in a freefall until he spotted Simmons and then straightened out so he became as aerodynamic as he possibly could, catching up to her. He grabbed her and injected her before tossing the device and getting his arms around her. Then he pulled the chute and Simmons blacked out from the shockwave, which almost took him out too. It felt like he had been stunned and he shook it off as they came to rest in the cold ocean.

He kept treading water with his legs while holding Simmons up with one arm and cutting the chute free with his pocket knife. Then he clung to Simmons and made sure she didn’t sink. He used his communicator and contacted the BUS with their coordinates, telling them that they were both safe although Simmons was unconscious.

They floated for a while and Simmons’s sweater rode up. That’s when he felt her stomach and realized that Simmons was pregnant, but only a couple months along or so. He wondered if she knew she was going to have a baby yet (“No shit she knows, she has her fucking degree in medicine!”, he thought to himself), then he wondered who the father was before he glanced down and noticed a tattoo of a lion wearing lab goggles and the name _“Leo”_ on her abdomen. Then he saw her necklace, which was really a wedding band on a chain with Fitz’s name on the inside of it.

Ah, so the scientists were married… He wondered if Fitz knew about the baby.

He put those thoughts out of his mind as the coast guard boat came and picked them up, taking them to an aircraft carrier where the BUS had landed.

He got back on board the BUS, bridal carrying a still-unconscious Simmons with him, careful not to accidentally hurt the baby growing inside her. May took over after a while and he went to go get a shower. When he was dressed and all the saltwater was cleaned out of his hair and he went with Simmons into Coulson’s office, he went and knocked on Skye’s bunk door.

Skye leapt into his arms and cried, telling him that he was a good man for rescuing Simmons and then laying down with him for a while and talking.        

  He didn’t want to tell her that he had gotten a call earlier from Garrett, asking how his assignment to see how Coulson had come back from the dead was going. Garrett had shocked him out of his good mood of being with Skye and reminded him that he was not there as an agent of SHIELD, rather a HYDRA mole. Garrett said not to get too attached to the team in case he would have to come out of the shadows and into the light and put a bullet through every single one of their heads.

Grant’s gut had twisted painfully at the memory of Garrett’s words, and sick nightmares sprung up in the foreground of his mind, of Coulson dead on the floor, clutching at May’s corpse, of Fitz making the ultimate sacrifice in vain by standing in front of Simmons, defending his wife and unborn child before being shot dead and falling to the floor, of Simmons’s screams as she hunched over her dead husband and then of having to put a bullet right between Simmons’s gentle hazel eyes, knowing that once she was dead, her baby would suffocate. Then of Skye… he’d have to kill Skye. He’d have to watch as the light left those pretty brown doe eyes and her blood spattered everywhere. He’d have to listen as she screamed for mercy. He’d have to smell the smoke from his gun and the metallic tang of blood as her screams were cut short by a gunshot.

He rolled out of bed and crawled over on his hands and knees to the trashcan where he vomited.

He had killed before, he didn’t want to kill his friends. He didn’t want to kill the woman he loved, to murder a husband and then his pregnant wife, to take the lives of two SHIELD legends who were head over heels for each other.

He couldn’t go on unfeeling and being Garrett’s puppet, or _anyone’s_ puppet for that matter.

 He was so sick of having to lie.

 He wanted to be a good man, the type of man Skye would be proud to be with, and that would start by feeding Garrett false information, trapping him, framing him as a member of HYDRA, and then giving up the name of every HYDRA operative he knew, from Jasper Sitwell, right up to the head honcho; Alexander Pierce.

 He knew there were many more than those he could name and he was a long way from total forgiveness, but if he came forward bravely and sold every single one of those bastards out, he could make progress.

He vomited again and Skye rubbed his back in soothing circles as she cooed to him that it would be okay and to try and get all of the seawater up.

He had to expose HYDRA, he was going to do it right after he got his stomach to calm down and brushed his teeth.

And he would start with himself.

After his stomach was calmed down and his teeth were brushed, he marched into Coulson’s office, called the rest of the team in there and spilled his guts to them (figuratively, of course).

He told them everything he knew and gave up about forty names of known HYDRA moles, all of which Coulson sent to Nick Fury, who used those names to begin the Great SHIELD Inquisition. A lot of HYDRA members were killed on sight, especially if they didn’t cooperate.

He framed Garrett, who was promptly killed after putting up a fight.

Grant was astonished when Coulson didn’t make him do any time for being a member of HYDRA, just made him stay on the BUS for a good bit of the missions they went on.

Skye was wary there for a while until she was shot and nearly killed by Ian Quinn, whom Grant caught by the neck and interrogated by nearly sending him out of the cage roof and then beating the ever-living shit out of him for almost killing Skye while she was defenseless.

He was so scared that she wouldn’t make it.

Luckily, Skye survived with some of the GH-325 serum.

Flash forward a month.

“Skye is my long lost daughter.”, Coulson sighed.

May appeared at the top of the steps and said, “All of you had better get in here… we have some discussing to do…”

When they were all situated in the lounge, May began.

“Twenty five years ago, I met Phil Coulson. We fell in love, he asked me to marry him and I said yes. Then Bahrain happened. I didn’t know until weeks after the act that  I had conceived. I chose to leave. I left Phil and broke off the engagement. He never even knew about the baby, Nick Fury kept my secret well. I went to China, had the baby and gave it up for adoption, figuring that someone could do a better job at raising her than I ever could.”, she paused and looked at Skye. “You were that baby…”

Skye wiped her tears with the back of her hand and didn’t reply as she curled into Grant’s arms.

May sighed and looked at Phil.

“Phil… I’m sorry I never told you…”

“Why didn’t you tell me though? I wouldn’t have abandoned you or Skye. I would have done my best to protect the both of you.”, he asked, hurt etched across his features.

“That’s why I left though, to protect all of us. If anyone had found out about my pregnancy, they would have used it to torture you and I for information and, knowing us, we would have given it to them because SHIELD is worthless compared to the well-being of the ones you care about, especially when that one is your own helpless unborn baby.”

Phil nodded curtly.

May sighed, looking between Skye and Phil.

“Look, I know that all of this is my fault and that it’s too much for me to expect an apology, but I am sorry for what happened. Skye, I’m sorry I gave you up and deprived you of the happy childhood you could’ve had with two parents and the whole nine yards. Phil, I’m sorry for breaking your heart and never telling you about Skye. I shouldn’t have kept the existence of your own child a secret from you.”

Then Grant saw May do something uncharacteristic.

She broke down in tears, violent sobs wracking her body.

“I-I just wanted to do what…what I t-thought was b-b-best and I…I f-failed…”, she choked out in a voice that was barely a whisper.

Coulson knelt down on the floor by May and held her tightly as she cried into his shoulder.

Coulson let a few tears go too.

“I forgive you Melinda… I forgive you…”, he murmured, stroking her hair and comforting her as she slid onto her own knees.

Simmons placed both hands on her belly where he knew there wasn’t a child growing, and she cried as she watched another mother cry over her child. Fitz held her close and comforted her, placing his hands on her belly.

Skye began to cry then too and Grant went to hold her tighter but she shook her head and whispered through her tears as she stood shakily.

“Grant… this is something I have to do…”,

 He nodded and then watched as Skye knelt by her parents and laid a hand on both of their shoulders.

“Hey…”, she whispered as Phil and Melinda pulled apart a little. Skye looked into her mother’s eyes and whispered the words that Grant knew Melinda longed to hear.

“I forgive you…”

Then Phil and Melinda pulled Skye into the hug and all three of them were finally together.

Grant sighed.

It was good to see his girlfriend happy.

She finally knew who her parents were.

Melinda pulled back and cupped Skye’s face, wiping her tears away with her thumbs.

“You definitely have your father’s nose…”, she said, studying her daughter.

“And your mother’s eyes…”, Phil added.

Grant smiled as Skye held out her hand to the rest of the team, wanting to pull them into her family, and, Grant supposed, that’s what they were now.

Skye was pressed against his chest and each of his hands rested on Fitz’s and Simmons’s respective shoulders. Phil and Melinda had their arms wrapped around Skye.

They were a family.

He had a family.

After a very long silence, Simmons cleared her throat.

“I guess now would be the best time to tell you that Leo and I have been married for years…”

Grant sighed to himself.

Yup. Definitely a family.   

           

   

 

 

  


	6. Skye

**Skye**

The real mystery is her identity.

If she had been a super hero, she would be lacking one thing: a true identity.

She knew who she was as a person, but she had no clue about her past.

Her four tattoos were an extension of her thoughts and personality. They somewhat held her beliefs but she didn’t think of them as things that would define her.

Sure they related to her in a personal way, but it wasn’t like she used them as links to deep hidden secrets or stories about herself.

Her first tattoo is a small, somewhat faded chickadee on her right calf  that she got when she was sixteen and it relates to one of her earliest memories.

When she was very young, even before she decided that she didn’t want to be called ‘Mary Sue Poots’ for her entire life, she remembers living at St. Agnes’s Orphanage and she remembers the family of birds that lived in the willow tree next door in the cemetery behind St. Agnes’s Church.

Every day that it was nice outside, Skye made a habit of eating lunch outside and every day, a chickadee would fly from the willow tree over to the steps where she ate alone.

She fed the chickadee the crust off her bread and she would watch as the little bird would pick up the hunk of crust and fly off with it to the willow tree.

It always amazed her that a bird as small as a chickadee could carry such a heavy load.

Surely if that little bird could be strong enough to carry that crust, she could be strong enough to keep a smile on her face when people would come to adopt a little girl and just glance right over her.

When Skye was six, she was sent to her first foster family. The mother, grandmother, and other children were nice to her there but the father didn’t seem to like her at all and would yell at her for no reason. She was sent back to St. Agnes within a month.

She didn’t let it get to her.

She was stronger than that.

She went to live with many more foster families after that; some of them were nice, some of them weren’t as friendly.

She wanted to get adopted by one of her foster families, the Brody family, to be exact. She had called the Mrs. Brody ‘mom’ once, just to try it out but a week or so later, she was sent back to the orphanage.

Apparently she wasn’t a good fit.

This went on for ages. She’d be bounced from school to school, from family to family, and all through the system.

Soon, she gave up on trying to make friends wherever she went.

She began to hate life when she turned thirteen.

Nobody adopted teenagers, that was a fact of life as an orphan.

The longest she had ever been in a foster home was three months when she was twelve, but the week before Christmas, they sent her back to St. Agnes. Now that she was a teenager, she would get fostered for shorter periods of time and she would change homes quicker.

She gave up on ever having a normal life.

Her grades were abysmal and she would cut class all the time to just go wandering around in whatever neighborhood her current school happened to be in.

When she turned fifteen, she stopped moving from family to family long enough to get a job working in the local bicycle repair shop (since they were the only place that would hire her) and managed to convince the nuns that she needed a bus pass for that job. So she got her bus pass and worked whenever she had the time to do so.

She used the money she made to get a tattoo for her sixteenth birthday.

Then, one day at the public library, she met seventeen-year-old Miles Lydon.

She was typing up a resume and filling out a job application for a second job while he was trying to hack into IBM from the computer next to her.

She remembers being fascinated with the way his fingers flew over the keyboard and wrote out code and HTML.

It was like nothing she had ever seen before but she later learned that, to Miles, it was as natural as breathing.

When he was done working she asked him if he could teach her how to do what he did.

When he asked her what she would do with those skills, she replied with four words:

“To erase my identity.”

He offered to buy her some food if she would come back to his place and meet the guys so that they could talk in a more secure environment.

She agreed and they got Chinese carryout and went back to Miles’s place.

Miles lived in a basement apartment with two other guys and two girls.

He told Skye that they were a group of hackers, programmers, and computer science whizzes, that they made money off of it on occasion, and that they believed in the freedom of information.

Then he told her about the group they were trying to join called the Rising Tide, which was a worldwide organization of hackers and programmers who wanted to have free information made available to everyone.

This meant that the world governments wouldn’t be able to threaten people with blackmail or hold all the secrets. The freedom of information would make it impossible for any government to use secrets to keep people in the dark.

Skye saw this freedom of information as a way to find out more about her parents.

The hackers all pitied Skye when she told them her story about her life in the system and many told her that they had been in her position before.

They promised to help her be free, finally free from the control of St. Agnes’s Orphanage and free from the foster care system.

Skye agreed to join them and agreed to be ready to fall off the grid in a week.

By the end of that week, Skye left St. Agnes’s Orphanage and dropped out of school.

Mary Sue Poots ceased to exist.

She officially became Skye that day.

All of her medical and personal records had been saved onto a flash drive and Skye wore the drive on a necklace like all of the other hackers did with their records. 

Miles and his friends took her in as one of their own and taught her all she needed to know in order to survive on her own. They taught her how to hack and, much to everyone’s surprise, Skye picked up on it in no time.

They were all accepted as members of the Rising Tide when Miles successfully hacked into the Kremlin and retrieved highly embarrassing pictures of Vladimir Putin with the help of the rest of the group.

When she turned eighteen, their group broke up and went their separate ways.

Skye went with Miles after that and they traveled together across America, making friends, living in Rising Tide safe houses, hiding from the law, and hacking to get by.

Skye and Miles began dating around the time when Skye got her second tattoo between her shoulder blades in the middle of her upper back area. This tattoo was one she got because she just liked the design. It was a tattoo of the sun and the moon fused together. This tattoo came to mean something to her later in her life.

Skye lost her virginity to Miles a few months later in some Rising Tide safe house in Tennessee. It may not have been moonlight, champagne, candlelight, and red roses, but to Skye, it was perfect.

She and Miles traveled to Austin, Texas where they settled themselves into an apartment.

Miles was regarded as one of the best hacktivists in the game and things were good for a while.

Then the Battle of New York happened and they got the message from the top hackers in the Rising Tide, telling them that they needed a mole to infiltrate SHIELD and release all of their secrets from the inside.

Miles wanted to go but that idea was shot down because of how famous Miles was within the hacking community.

Then Skye agreed to go, after all, she had learned everything she knew from Miles and had learned on her own after that via a systematic process of trial and error. She was technically better at hacking now than Miles but she didn’t want to crush his ego.

She also didn’t tend to boast as much as Miles did about her hacking, so naturally she was less well-known and therefore the prime candidate for the mission.  

The first time Skye hacked into SHIELD, she was perusing through a bunch of old files when she discovered a redacted medical document with the date on it from the day she was dropped off at St. Agnes’s Orphanage _with_ the orphanage name all over it regarding a baby girl.

She saved the document to a SD card, bought a van, and left Austin for Los Angeles. From there she would lay low and then do something to get on SHIELD’s radar.

She didn’t have to wait long before Mike Peterson burst into her world and changed it up. She was kidnapped by SHIELD later, right while she was making a Rising Tide promo.

She only had the time to look and see that the door of her van had been ripped open by a couple of men in dark suits, one of them was tall and muscular with good bone structure and dark brown hair with his eyes obscured by dark aviator sunglasses while the other man was shorter and older with somewhat receding sandy brown hair and kind (almost sad) looking blue eyes before a bag was put over her head by the muscular man and a pair of handcuffs were snapped around her wrists.

 Then they were in motion and driving to God-knows-where.

She remained silent and still during the ride, knowing that it wouldn’t help anyone if she struggled and was killed.

Oh God, what if they were taking her somewhere to kill her?

What if she had seen too much and was a threat that they needed to put down?

No, wait, they were stopping and the engine was being turned off.

The door was opened and now they wanted her to move, the muscular guy behind her leading her.

Her feet soon hit an inclined plane and she was marched up it.

“Watch the stairs.”, the muscular agent said gruffly and she laughed in spite of herself before feeling for the stairs with her boots and replying,

“Too bad I have this bag on my head and can't see a damn thing, genius.”

She could’ve sworn that she heard British voices arguing back and forth below her as she ascended the stairs but shook it out of her mind.

When she was sat down on a cold metal chair, the bag was ripped off of her head and the handcuffs were taken off.

The older agent, whom she learned was named Agent Phil Coulson, addressed her firmly but respectfully while the muscular agent, whom she learned was named Agent Grant Ward, demanded gruffly.

They asked her a ton of questions and she answered them in a snarky, almost sarcastic way until they began insinuating that she had something to do with the explosion of that building in L.A..

Then both agents left and later returned with a menacing looking needle gun and what Coulson called a truth serum. Then Ward grabbed her by the arm as if to hold her still for the injection until Coulson stuck Ward with the needle instead and left saying,

“Don’t believe us? Ask him anything.”

Now Skye turned to her natural assets.

She wondered if this agent Grant Ward was human with human senses and needs and emotions.

She took off her vest and leaned in.

Well he certainly was a man, he just stared at her chest for about a second.

 She asked him a bunch of questions regarding her imprisonment and what their next course of action would be.

Then she leaned over the table again and when he glanced at her cleavage, she called him out on it and asked him why he was looking.

He replied by telling her that she was beautiful and that he cared about her even if he wasn’t supposed to. He said that he admired her for her gifts with computers and said that she was very smart and that he wanted to get to know her better.

She processed this in her brain (after all, she was still technically with Miles) before asking him what they would do to her when the interrogation was finished and he told her that she would most likely get recruited.

She asked him other things about working for SHIELD. Maybe SHIELD wouldn’t be so bad after all. It was someplace where she could learn about her parents and possibly get her hands on the original version of the redacted SHIELD document and not to mention, she would get a steady paycheck out of it.

Later, she spoke with Phil Coulson and agreed to join SHIELD.

She ate a meal with Agent Ward and then was whisked away to the medical section by a bubbly British biochemist named Jemma Simmons.

At the medical section, she let the doctors look over her medical records on the flash drive before they updated her files by giving her a full head to toe exam, complete with blood, urine, hair, and cheek cell samples for the databases. She was fingerprinted, given all of her booster shots, and had her dental records updated. The last things they gave her before she left was a book to start recording her daily diet, rest, and exercise amounts and a new prescription for her birth control pills.

When Skye returned to the BUS, she brought all her stuff up to her bunk, ate, took a shower and fell asleep.

Grant Ward began training her up and showing her how to become an agent but on her very first assignment ever, she almost got killed and thought that Grant was pissed at her because if she would have paid some attention to him when he was trying to teach her how to defend herself then maybe he wouldn’t have had to swoop in and rescue her like she was some damsel in distress.

She met up with Miles to warn him that SHIELD was coming for him about two weeks later.

Unfortunately they were both caught and Grant didn’t look her in the eye as she and Miles were both hauled off in handcuffs.

Skye broke up with Miles after finding out that he sold information for large sums of money and also aided the enemy, resulting in the death of a gifted individual.

Looking back on her relationship with Miles, she saw that it had been bad for her all along. Sure Miles had given her a skill she could utilize but in terms of their romantic and sexual relationship, it had been poison from the start.

Miles had never loved her. He had been in love with the idea of having someone love him but the only person he ever truly loved was himself.

To Skye, sex was never just sex, it was something bigger than that. It was making love to someone whom you trusted with your full heart.

But to Miles, sex was never making love, sex was just something he expected to receive as reimbursement for teaching Skye everything she knew and taking her with him.

The reality of knowing she had been played like that by Miles was like a rude awakening and it made her heart grow cold and guarded.

She wouldn’t get played like that again.

Skye was disappointed in herself for being weak and decided to get stronger.

Nobody would get under her skin ever again, not Miles and not Grant Ward. 

She addressed Grant as ‘Sir’ from then on, hoping it would make her feel less attached to him, but Skye soon realized that shutting down her feelings for Grant Ward was damn near impossible.

This time, she realized, she really _was_ falling in love with Grant Ward and that fighting it was tearing her apart.

She had no idea that the same thing was tearing Grant up inside until one day when he just snapped at her.

He let the truth come out and told her that he loved her. Skye was so shocked that she acted on impulse and kissed him when he thought she wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings.

Her lips attached to his and her eyes slid shut when she felt him kissing her back. Then she gasped a little when he lifted her up off the ground and held her in his arms.

They began dating (or doing the SHIELD equivalent) and for weeks they built up slowly and their kisses changed to make out sessions in the downstairs pods while they were doing inventory and then those progressed to long talks about everything under the sun.

Skye got a new tattoo of an antique key with a heart on the end of the handle and a rose winding its way around the handle.

The key to her heart. 

 _“This is what love should feel like.”_ , Skye thought to herself one night while she rested her head against Grant’s chest while watching a movie in his bunk. She was content there, cuddled beneath a blanket with him, listening to the steady beating of his heart and the gradual rise and fall of his chest as Grant gently ran his fingers through her hair.      

Miles never had the patience for all of this and that’s what made her love Grant even more. To know that he was busy and all but that he would still make time for just the two of them to relax and wind down was showing that he made an effort to keep their relationship healthy.

Skye was sure that she had found the right man for her when Grant jumped out of the BUS to save Simmons from falling to her death.

He was willing to risk his life to save their friend and, to Skye, that meant the world.

When Grant returned, she kissed him over and over before cuddling beneath the covers in her bunk.

They spent some time talking about life in general when Skye mentioned Grant’s SO and Grant’s face fell. Grant got very quiet and then rolled out of bed abruptly to throw up in the trashcan.

 Poor guy… he probably swallowed too much seawater.

She coaxed him to get it all up, rubbing his back as he heaved harshly.

Soon after that, Grant had the whole team gather in Coulson’s office where he told them all about how he was recruited to HYDRA by John Garrett early on and that he was a HYDRA mole who was formally turning himself in and automatically promising to answer any and all questions about HYDRA.

Coulson didn’t need to cuff him. Grant put all of his weapons on the desk, unloaded his gun, and went to put down his SHIELD badge when Coulson stopped him and said that he was still a SHIELD agent, just one that would need to tell him everything he knew about HYDRA.

Skye and FitzSimmons left the office while Coulson and May informally interrogated Grant, who, by the looks of it, was more than willing to comply. Grant sent her an apologetic look as she left the office.

Skye felt betrayed. She still loved Grant though, she just needed to take a step back from their relationship and have some space before she came back to work through this situation.

She told Grant that she still loved him but that she needed some space to get her thoughts in order and that it might be a while but she had to learn how to trust him again.

Grant was quite understanding about her need for space and he gave it to her without hesitation, telling her that he would gladly wait for her.

She focused on her work and on helping Coulson track down the people that HYDRA did business with since the information that Grant gave Coulson led to the arrests, inquisitions, and even deaths of many undercover HYDRA members. SHIELD was taking back their own and weeding out the rest. Some of the intel that SHIELD got from HYDRA moles during interrogations were the names of other moles as well as the names of members of world governments, gangs, and the names of businessmen/women that HYDRA worked with.

It was really no surprise to her when their search led them to Ian Quinn, who was currently hidden away in his Italian villa… that guy was never up to any good.

Skye went in on her own in an attempt to stop Quinn but she was shot twice in the stomach instead.

It was painful and she struggled to pull herself to the door to call for help.

She was sure she was going to die there.

Her vision blurred and sounds became very loud and then everything went dark and silent.

The pain vanished and she felt nothing.

 _“So this is how it feels to die… It’s just like sleeping…”_ , she thought.

Then she was transported to a forest with pine trees all around.

She was confused. Coulson said that the afterlife was like Tahiti… not some forest. Maybe it was different for everyone.

She heard the sounds of a creek and the birds chirping. It wasn’t hot or cold and the colors were vivid. She looked up at the sky and instead of seeing sun, clouds, or the moon, she saw the entire galaxy in intense colors and it reminded her of the sun and moon tattoo she had on her back, which she knew for a fact was also brightly colored.

She looked at herself and saw that she was naked but she didn’t seem to care about it. She wasn’t bleeding, she wasn’t hungry or thirsty, and she didn’t feel pain. She wondered if there was a clearing somewhere and so she stood up and began to walk barefooted through cool grass.

She came to a large clearing where the creek was and before she came out of the trees, she noticed that she wasn’t alone.

Someone else, a young man, ran through the clearing with a brown dog.

Then she wished for clothes.

The thought barely crossed her mind when she looked down and saw that she was wearing her normal clothes while still going barefoot.

She tentatively went in the direction of the man and the dog, wondering if they were dead too and if the man could tell her where she is.

She saw the man and the dog by the creek on the other side of the clearing and approached them.

The man looked oddly familiar but before she could take another step, the man said the words “And this too shall come to pass…” and then everything flashed a blinding white and then went dark.

Then she opened her eyes again and saw that she was in a hospital room or something.

Almost immediately after that, none other than Jemma Simmons cheerfully exclaimed, “Skye’s awake!!”

She learned the full story about what had happened and how she survived from Coulson.

She was told about the GH-325 serum that saved her life.

 Then, after he left the pod, Grant Ward came in with his hands behind his back and a smile on his face.

He asked her how she was doing and then placed a bouquet of handpicked wildflowers that he had been hiding behind his back in a mason jar on her side table with some water.

Skye told him that she was ready to get back in their relationship, especially after what he did to Ian Quinn when SHIELD took him into custody.

After that, life returned to normal, Skye healed up and resumed her training after adding the words, _“And this too shall come to pass.”_ , to the tattoo on her back.

A month later, she was working on her computer in the lab while Simmons ran an analysis on something at her own computer. Simmons whispered the words, “Oh my God…” and Skye looked up at her before asking what was wrong and going over to see for herself.

Jemma quickly pressed the save and then the close buttons on the document to prevent her from seeing whatever it was on the screen.

Instantly curious, Skye went up to her bunk and hacked into Jemma’s computer with her personal tablet and pulled up all the recently saved files, only to find a bloodwork and DNA analysis of her DNA being compared to Phil Coulson’s DNA since he was another GH-325 recipient, but noticed that their DNA hadn’t been effected by the GH-325 serum and the proof was right there and plain as day in several before and after comparisons.

Then she saw something shocking as she scrolled to the second page of the document: her DNA was halfway genetically identical to Coulson’s. One of her X chromosomes matched Phil Coulson’s X chromosome and Simmons had run a test to see if Coulson had had any SHIELD approved relationships in the year 1992 (back when CO’s still had to be strict about approving relationships).

Turns out that there were none, but in 1990 a relationship had been approved between Phil Coulson and, to Skye’s great surprise, Melinda May, that same relationship had been terminated in 1993.

Then May’s medical records were pulled up on page three and her DNA was compared to Skye’s.

On page four, it showed that Skye’s other X chromosome was identical to May’s.

Skye had to step back from her tablet for a second before coming back and scrolling to page five, only to see the inevitable, unavoidable truth of the matter in the DNA test results: She was the daughter of Phil Coulson and Melinda May.

Skye laid there on her bed for a while, numbly staring at the ceiling.

She had been searching high and low for her parents for _years_ and her own father had kidnapped her and brought her onto the same plane that her own mother piloted.

She had been in the same room as her parents before and she had  never even known it!

Her parents were SHIELD _legends_ and she never even knew it.

She wondered if Phil knew that he was her father.

She laid there in silence for a few more minutes before gathering up her courage, grabbing her tablet, and going upstairs to Coulson’s office.

She paused at the door with her fist poised to knock, wanting to run back down to the safety of her bunk and remain there for the rest of her life.

She shook off the nerves as best as she could and knocked.

“Come in.”, Coulson said, and she took a deep breath.

“AC?”, she began shyly.

The older agent looked at her with an inquiring look on his face.

_This is your father, Skye… He’s your dad… you have to let him know who you are… He has a right to know…_

“Yes Skye?”

“I need to tell you something that may shock you a little…”, she said and closed the door to his office.

“What is it?”, he asked, leaning forward in his office chair.

“Well, I know you said for me not to hack into SHIELD again, but this was important and it effects both of us… Simmons was keeping this hidden from all of us and  I had to hack her computer to find this…”

“Does it have to do with complications as a result of the GH serum being used?”, he asked.

Skye shook her head and pulled up the files on her tablet.

“No… you kinda need to see this for yourself…”, she said and handed over the tablet.

As Coulson read it, his eyes grew wide.

At many points during this whole reading, Skye questioned her idea to spring this on Coulson.

When Coulson was finished reading, he put the tablet down with shaking hands and inhaled deeply.

He was silent for a minute, his blue eyes reflecting deep thoughts as he stared at the tablet.

“Is this what you wanted to see?”, he asked quietly, breaking the silence with his even tone, “I don’t mean to ask it in such a general way, but I have to know, did you want this to happen the way it did? With me being your…Well you know… _father_?”

Skye shook her head and muttered,

“At this point, I have no clue…”, she looked at him and asked, “Is this the reunion you wanted?”

Coulson gave a short bark of incredulous laughter before his expression fell and he sighed.

“Reunion? Skye, I never even met you until I kidnapped you from your van…”, he paused and looked at her through eyes that now seemed so tired, “Melinda… I never even knew she was pregnant… She never told me about you…”

“What happened?”, Skye asked.

Coulson shrugged.

“Well, we were engaged to be married, I was so happy with Mel and she was happy with me. I felt like I was doing something right for once.”, Coulson smiled fondly at his own memories, “We always talked about settling down and having children when the time was right. May wanted them badly because she had been an only child, I wanted them too, but because I wanted to be a father … Those were the happiest days of my life…”

Coulson paused and stood up, pushing in his desk chair. Skye knew that he was remembering painful things now.

“Everything was fine between us until one day I woke up to an empty bed and a letter on the nightstand. Her engagement ring was sitting next to it along with her key to our apartment. She was gone… her records were sealed and she had fallen off the grid. I didn’t have the clearance level capable of viewing her file, so I never found out where she went or why until she came back  about a year and a half later. She went to China to clear her head. She broke off the engagement because she wasn’t ready for the lifelong commitment of marriage. I respected her choices. There was no point in arguing or throwing a fit, it’s not like I could ever force her to marry me, so we just stayed friends.”, he explained, pacing the length of his office.

“Do you think she left you because of me?”, Skye asked softly after a tense moment of silence.

She didn’t want to know that she was the one to blame for bringing an end to Coulson’s happiness, but the question burned in her mind all the same.

“I don’t think it was just because of you… It could have been any number of reasons… but the point is that you’re here now…”, Coulson looked at her and smiled sadly before sighing, “Skye…Things are much different now that I know you’re my daughter…”

“Different how?”

“You’re a grown woman… are you sure you want someone like me to be a father to you now?”

Skye felt hurt for some reason at his words.

“Do you want me as a daughter?”, she asked, slowly rising to her feet, “or is the thought of having a fully grown child seem disappointing… Did you want to be able to raise me, is that why you’re asking me if I want you to be my father?”

Her tears were flowing freely now and she continued as Coulson stepped back.

“You have no clue how it feels to finally have an answer to the question you’ve been asking yourself for your whole life. I didn’t just come up here to tell you that you were my father because I thought it was your right to know that you fathered a child. No, I came up here because I wanted you to know and because I wanted you to accept me. I’m 21 years old! I know I can’t be raised at this point, but there is still so much that I want to do…”

“Skye that’s not what I meant!”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I meant to say that I have no clue how to be a father, it doesn’t matter how old you are, I just don’t want to come into your life and then make a mess of it.”, he sighed.

“Ugh! I can’t take this… I don’t care about you messing anything up, I just… ugh dammit”, Skye groaned, “Just answer me this: do you or do you not want to be my father? If your answer is yes, we can start working on forming a father-daughter relationship that won’t be based on our positions within SHIELD. If your answer is no, then I’ll walk out that door and deny ever having this conversation, I will only think of you as my CO and as my boss.”

She stared at the blank look on his face and her tears betrayed her as she whispered,

“I’ve lived without you and May for 21 years… I can handle being alone.”

Coulson looked like he was about to cry.

“No, God no…”, he whispered.

Taking that as his answer, Skye snatched her tablet and made to leave, but Coulson noticed her and gasped, “Wait, Skye… I didn’t mean that…”

“It’s okay, I know when I’m not welcome…”, Skye cried, “You forget that I have a lot of experience when it comes to hearing how I’m not wanted…”

She was down the staircase and making her way through the lounge when she heard Coulson behind her, following her.

“Wait, Skye…I meant no to you being alone, not no to you not being my daughter!”

She quickened her pace and opened the door to the cargo bay.

She saw Grant at the bottom of the stairs and ran down to him, hugging him tightly.

Coulson wasn’t far behind and he called out to her,

“Skye, if I’d have only known before all this…I-I would’ve searched the whole world for you.”

Grant asked if Skye and Coulson were related and Coulson sighed,

“Yes… Skye is my long lost daughter…”

May called them up to the lounge a few moments later and they all went up as May told them her story.

Then they were making up for lost times with a group hug.

Then Simmons cleared her throat.

“I guess now would be the best time to tell you that Leo and I have been married for years…”

Skye pulled back and looked at the two scientists.

“When did that happen?”

“Four an’ a half years ago…”, Fitz replied, wrapping an arm around Simmons and pressing a kiss into her hair.

“Why did nobody tell me this?”, Coulson looked at them, “How come it wasn’t in your files?”

The two scientists looked sheepish as they replied at the same time,

“Well, Jemma an’ I know that there are anti-frat rules for scientists, but we were married before the marriage rule was written so our marriage is legal an’ binding. We were married in Scotland and we can produce a marriage license if we need to.”

“Really, Leo and I see no harm in being married, after all, if the normal agents can get married, why not the scientists? SHIELD has no right to tell me who I should and shouldn’t get married to!”

Coulson held up the  time out hand gesture and silenced the scientists.

“I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about SHIELD banning relationships, just make sure you let me know if we’ll be expecting any little scientists arriving because we’ll need to work out something then.”

At the first mention of babies, Simmons withdrew and the smiles slipped off of their faces. Grant tenses.

“Did I say something?”, Coulson asks as Simmons goes teary-eyed and tells the story of the child that should have been their firstborn between sobs.

It’s a devastating, gut-wrenching story and Skye is hugging her best friend at the end of it, letting her cry into her shoulder.

“Jemma… I’m so sorry…”, May said, placing a gentle hand onto the biochemist’s shoulder.

“How are you two holding up?”, Coulson asked.

“It’s difficult but we’re workin’ on it… ye’ see, it’s not easy to bury your child… but ye’ keep workin’ because ye’ know that givin’ up is not an option… ye’ know that ye’ owe somethin’ to their memory, so ye’ work through the pain an’ ye hope to God that ye’ have a good person there to stay with ye’ through it all. I’m blessed to have Jemma here with me… so blessed…”, Fitz replied, hugging his wife after she released Skye.

“Well, at least we can wear our wedding bands again…”, Jemma said softly as she dried her eyes.

“Well, if you two are going to need time, I’ll put in for you to get a vacation so that you can go back home.”, Coulson said, “Just say the word.”

“Thanks, but…”, Jemma began.

“this is our home.”, Fitz added, completing his wife’s statement.

Coulson shrugged.

“Okay then, but the offer is on the table.”

Skye and Grant stood then, sitting back on the sofa and the team got up.

“So what happens now?”, Skye asked.

Coulson and May looked at each other and May spoke,

“Well, I can land at a SHIELD base somewhere and we can all take the rest of the day off. We’ve been working really hard recently.”

Coulson nodded,

“I agree. We all need a night to just cut loose and have fun… We could go into a town and see a movie or go to a bar…”

“I haven’t had a day off in a while.”, Jemma said.

“Same here.”, Leo added.

“And this guy,”, Skye poked Grant’s bicep and smirked, “doesn’t even know what his favorite soda is.”

Grant laughed.

“You know what I haven’t done in the longest time?”, Grant said.

“What’s that?”, Coulson asked.

“I haven’t gone swimming in _ages_ …”, he replied before glancing to Jemma, “and rescuing you doesn’t count. I mean like good old fashioned lake swimming…”

“Well, it’s summertime so the weather’s perfect for it…wait a sec, Mel how close are we to central Texas?”

“Let me check, any place you have in mind?”

“Yeah… you remember Hamilton Pool… I think it was in Dripping Springs?”

Melinda May just grinned.

“I can have us there in no time…”, she replied, “grab your swimsuits…”,she pointed to Skye, Grant, Jemma, and Leo,“ we’re going swimming.”

 

**Author's Note:**

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